Angie said it was okay to choose myself.
Did she mean it?
Henry’s her brother, after all.
Then, as if the universe can hear my thoughts, my phone buzzes.
Angie.
“Tabs.” Her voice is all breath. “Tell me you’re okay.”
“I’m fine. You should be enjoying your honeymoon. Not calling me, Ang.”
“Jason and I are coming home soon. To Boulder, not the Slope. I can’t wait to see you.”
I clear my throat. “You’re not going home to see Henry?”
“Oh. Well, yeah. Of course. At first. But we’ll be back in Boulder before your seminar is over. Jason has surgeries scheduled, and I… Well, you know. Fall semester is starting.”
“Of course,” I say.
“So…do you want to know anything?”
“Uh…sure. I want to hear everything about the trip.”
She lets out a humorless laugh. “You’ll hear that when we get home. I have lots of pictures, plus some goodies to bring back to you. But you know very well I’m talking about Henry, Tabs.”
Henry.
Of course. She said I could choose me, but he’s still her brother. I get it.
“How is he?” I ask.
“Physically? Good. Stubborn. He’s back at work and driving short distances.” A wry half-laugh. “Emotionally? He’s pretending.”
I press my fingers into my temples, not sure what to say. “I had the seminar. Orientation. Then labs. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity.”
I’m making the same damned excuse, and she knows it.
I swallow. The truth hovers on my lips.
“Tabs…”
“Angie, here’s the thing.” I draw in a breath. “I was afraid. I was afraid that if I left, I wouldn’t come back.”
No response.
Until—
“Maybe not right away,” Angie says. “But you would have. Because you’re you.”
Silence. My kitchen clicks and hums around me.
“Tabs,” she says, “I have an idea.”
I sigh. “What kind of idea?”
“My family has this cabin in Dillon. It’s closer to you than to us, and it’s fully stocked and managed. You should go there this weekend. Take a break.”
