Jane turned and left the room,unable to stand any more. She went to the veranda, her arms crossed over herchest to stop their trembling. Dear God, seeing Ruel's hurt at that moment wasalmost as bad as watching Ian's unhappiness and agony.
She heard Ruel come from Ian'sroom ten minutes later and then the clatter of china as he carried the tray toSula in the kitchen. Afterward he joined her on the veranda.
"Did you get him toeat?" she asked.
"Oh yes, I always get himto do what I want him to do. Didn't you hear him say how omnipotent I am?"
She didn't look at him."He didn't really mean to blame you. He doesn't want to die."
"Of course he does,"Ruel said harshly. "If I were facing what he is, I'd be cursing himtoo."
"He isn't cursing you."
"Only because he believesGod might really wreak vengeance on my head since I've never been in his goodgraces."
"You saved Ian's life.There's no greater gift you could give anyone."
"Ian thinks thereis."
Death. She shivered andquickly changed the subject. "He wants to stay here in Kasanpore."
"He told me thattoo." He shook his head. "If I let him stay here, he'll wither awayand die. At Glenclaren at least he has a chance of living."
"He seems to be worryingabout not being capable of properly running Glenclaren."
"He's right, it's not ajob for a cripple. My father was out and about every day overseeing themanagement of the blasted place."
"Couldn't Ian hiresomeone?"
"An agent? Yes, but itwould be another drain and he'd manage only to keep his head above water. Infive years I could have bought him anything he needed. I could have built him abloody palace in place of that drafty barn. Why the hell wasn't I given thoseyears? You'd think God would take care of his own, wouldn't you?"
"What are you going todo?"
He shook his head wearily."I've written to Maggie and taken passage for Ian out of Narinth on theBonnieLadyin three weeks' time."
"Are you going withhim?"
He shook his head. "I'mgoing to Cinnidar after I put him on the ship." He whirled to face her."Stop looking at me like that. I can donothingfor him atGlenclaren right now. If I go to Cinnidar, at least I'll have a chance ofgiving him what he needs for that damn piece of earth he worships. Money canbuy a comfortable life, if not a happy one."
"How could I blame you?You've done more for Ian than anyone could expect you to do."
A bitter smile touched hislips. "More than he wanted me to do anyway." He straightened."I'm going to the Officers' Club to see Colonel Pickering about arrangingtransport on one of the troop ships going upriver to Narinth. It will be easieron Ian than traveling overland. Will you watch over him for me until I getback?"
She stiffened, panic surgingthrough her. Ruel had not left Ian's side since the night of the train wreck,and he did not know about the colonel's investigation. What would happen whenhe—
"What's wrong? Is there aproblem?"
Three weeks had gone by sincePatrick had told her of the engineers' findings. Perhaps the colonel wouldassume Ruel knew about it. Perhaps he wouldn't mention it and, if he did, shewould have to face it. She smiled with an effort. "No, nothing's wrong. Ofcourse I'll watch over him."
"Of course," herepeated, and for once his smile held no mockery or bitterness, only a raresweetness. "There's no 'of course' about it. You've put up with Ian'sscreams and my rantings and worked yourself into a shadow these last weekswithout a word of thanks from me."
"I didn't want yourthanks. I couldn't have done anything else."
He gazed at her for a longmoment. "No, I guess you couldn't. But I want you to know I'll rememberthis and find a way to repay you."
For the first time since thetrain wreck he was really looking at her, and she felt a tiny shock ofawareness. She laughed tremulously. "Are you going to build me a palacetoo?"
"Maybe." He reachedout and gently stroked her cheek with his index finger. "I'll have tothink about it. You once said you wouldn't be comfortable in a palace."
