Haroun fell back to ride beside her. "What is wrong?"
"Nothing," she said curtly. "Why should anything be wrong?"
"You seem . . . disturbed. And you were ill again this morning." He moistened his lips. "It is not a good thing to be ill every day. I've been worried."
"It's not good, but there's nothing to be worried about."
"Is it the fever?"
She shook her head.
"We should stop and let you recover."
Why not tell him? She couldn't keep it secret for long when he would see her every day. "It may take many months for me to recover from this affliction. I'm with child, Haroun."
He smiled brilliantly. "I wondered . . . I remember Lady Thea was so taken. That's why we're going to seek out Lord Kadar?"
"Yes."
"It is wise. He is honorable, and you and the babe will be safe with him."
"I'm not going to put myself in his care. After we wed, I return to Montdhu."
He nodded vigorously. "Until it's safe for him to come to you. This land is not the place for you to be. Don't worry, I will care for you in his place."
"I don't need you to--" She couldn't finish. Haroun was so happy and earnest. If his attitude was annoying, it was also sweet. She was most moved. "I thank you for your concern. I'll try not to be a burden." Good God, that last sentence almost turned her stomach again. "I know I will be safe with you, Haroun."
He flushed, and his smile became even more radiant. "You will. I promise. I'll take care of you. You'll be safe, Lady Selene."
"The boy is hovering around you like a bee at a honeycomb," Layla said in a low voice as she watched Haroun make up Selene's pallet that night. "You told him?"
Selene nodded. "He had to know sometime. He was concerned."
"We should have told him before. He seems a good enough lad."
High praise from Layla. Selene smiled. "Very good."
"But his fussing is going to annoy you."
"Probably." But not as it would have once, she realized. It was as if the knowledge of the child had softened and dulled all the sharp edges. She seemed to think more clearly, react less impulsively.
"You're feeling well tonight." Layla was studying her.
She smiled. "You didn't force any herbs on me this evening."
"Tomorrow. It's not always good to mix." She shook her head. "No, it's something else."
Hope. The thought came out of nowhere. How odd. Hope had always been a rarity in her life. She had been too often disappointed. You took action to achieve your needs; you didn't hope for them. Yet it was hope stirring within her now. It had been growing day by day on their journey. The child?
"I feel . . ." She couldn't explain what she didn't understand herself. "I feel as if everything is going to be all right."
"Perhaps it will."
She made a face. "Or perhaps this contentment is God's way of protecting babes."
"It's possible. It's certainly brought a change in you. You've not even mentioned Tarik or the grail since you found you were with child."
It had not seemed important. Only getting to Kadar and the reality of the child was of any significance. "Kadar says when I fix my mind on something, I can't see anything else. I suppose he's right."
