"He appears to know you very well."
"Yes." All those hours and days and years together. "How long before we arrive in Rome?"
"Three days."
In three days she would see Kadar again. Three days and he would know about the child. Not that it would change things, but she would see his face and it would be--
"Sweet Mary, are you ill again?"
Her startled gaze flew to Layla's face. "Why would you think that?"
"You have a most asinine and befuddled expression."
Selene frowned. "I do not. I was merely--" She stopped as she realized Layla was smiling. "Your humor is unkind."
"Humor is humor. Kind or unkind, it's our salvation. Become accustomed to my roughness. I can be no other way." She looked into the fire. "Will you stay with him?"
"No."
"Why not? A blind woman could see you have a fondness for him."
"Yes."
"But you're fighting it."
"No, I'm done with fighting it. But that doesn't mean I should stay with him. It probably means I should not." She paused. "I thought he was the one person on this earth who would never lie to me. But he did."
"Treachery?"
"Not exactly."
"We all lie to each other on occasion. To be kind, to be cruel." She paused. "Just as we lie to ourselves."
Selene stiffened. "You're saying I lie to myself?"
"Possibly. You said Tarik told you that you were like me. There's a part of each of us in the center of our being that remains alone and inviolate. It's hard for me to let anyone get close to that center, even a loved one. You may be the same." She lifted her gaze. "If you have reason, leave this Kadar, but don't lie to yourself to protect that aloneness. Loneliness can be very bitter."
"I never lie to myself," Selene said quickly. "And, besides, Tarik said if I stayed with Kadar I'd be a danger to him."
"Tarik had his own reasons to want you away from him."
"But I believe this to be true."
"There are other solutions to danger than running away." She rolled up in her blanket and closed her eyes. "Think about it."
"I don't need to think about it. I've made my decision and I'll not--"
"Go to sleep." Layla yawned. "I weary of talking to you, and I need my rest. No doubt you'll wake me early with that hideous retching."
She had closed her out, Selene realized with frustration. She turned and strode to her own pallet.
"You look troubled. Do you not feel well?" Haroun asked from his own pallet a few yards away.
She smiled with an effort as she lay down. "I'm only tired."
"We should not force the pace. You need your rest."
"That's what I'm trying to do." She rolled over on her side and closed her eyes. "I'm fine. It will only be another three days."
