Alone. He was leaving her. He was like all the others. Taking and then going away. "Very well." She slowly stood up and numbly pulled her gown over her head.
"Don't look like that." His hands fell on her shoulders. "Do you think I want to leave?"
"Men always do what they wish to do." She looked away from him. "They couple and then they go."
"For God's sake, I'm not like the men in Nicholas's house. You know that."
"I don't know anything. Except that you're going." She jerked away from him. "And that I'm a fool." Her eyes were suddenly blazing at him. "I'll not be one again. You need not run because you think I'll bother you. Coupling is nothing. Animals in the field do it and then wander away."
"It wasn't like that. You're not thinking, Selene."
No, she was only feeling, and the pain and anger were growing every second. "I would have done anything. I came to you and told you things that hurt me to say. I had no pride. I wanted to show you. . . Trust? You had no right to ask it of me." She snatched her cloak from the ground. "You had no right to ask anything of me."
She turned and started up the hill at a run.
"Wait." Kadar's footsteps behind her. "I'll go with you."
"Don't you come a step farther," she said over her shoulder. "Come close to me and I promise I'll knock you down this hill."
The wind tore her hair as she put on speed.
Go faster. Get away from the hurt.
Try to leave the pain behind.
Kadar's hands balled into fists at his sides as he watched Selene run up the hill.
He had hurt her. After all the years of care and patience, he had reached out and grabbed what he wanted. She had come to try to give him what he wanted of her. He had ignored that gift and taken her body instead. Then, in the next breath, he had destroyed that fledgling trust.
What was he supposed to do? Tell her about Sinan? Neither she nor Ware must know before he left on the Dark Star.
Damn, it had been hard not to tell her. Everything he wanted, she offered, and he'd thrown it back at her.
May God curse you, Sinan.
She was now lost in the shadows cast by the castle walls. He turned away and stared down the hill toward the harbor. He would board the Dark Star in the morning and tell Balkir to set sail at once. The sooner he reached Maysef, the sooner he could accomplish his mission and come home.
If he lived through it.
He would live. He wouldn't let Sinan win by claiming either his soul or his life. He would come back to Montdhu.
He would come back to Selene.
Kadar wasn't following any longer.
The drawbridge of the castle loomed ahead.
Selene could barely see anything in the dense shadows cast by the stone walls.
Soon she would be in her chamber, closing out the shadows, closing out Kadar.
Fool. She had been a fool. No more.
Build the wall again. Let no one in.
Safer that way. Let no one--
Agony seared through her left temple.
