“Not stopping.” I slide my hand between us and press just enough pressure while angling myself differently, when she cries out.
“There you go, come on, give it to me, scream my name the way I’ve been dying for. Suck me dry, Lilah.”
“Jude!” With all her muscles tense, she pants as she falls apart in my arms. “You’re mine.”
“I’ve never belonged to anyone else, Lilah, not even myself,” I growl, and then I’m gone, completely lost as I finish inside her knowing full well we could have been walked in on, that we didn’t use a condom, that we didn’t have anything between us.
Not even regret.
The way it was always supposed to be.
Responsible, it seems, has never been our priority. Think later. Act now. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I slowly pull out of her, mourning the loss of her heat when she grabs her sweats. “Now that we’ve gotten the important thing out of the way…”
I watch her skeptically.
She steps into her pants and jerks them up. “I think we should talk.”
“First…” I sigh and lean against the table. “Can we have a pause in all of this and just stare at the ceiling and pretend they’re stars for like two minutes?”
She bursts out laughing. “Will you hold my hand?”
“I won’t let go.”
Her eyes fill with tears. “Promise?”
“You’re mine, Lilah, even when you weren’t by my side. I never mentally let go of your hand.”
21
“A ledger is not a book. It is a graveyard. Every name already half-buried.”—The Count of Monte Cristo
JUDE
“Iknow where the money came from…” I look away as the familiar pain comes roaring back to life. It’s been an hour of us staring at sculptures, her watching me work and grabbing some clay of her own. No words, just gentle touches between us followed by working, soothing. Now, my stomach is in knots, and I’m in disbelief. I can’t form words. I can only stare.
She keeps talking. “The night your life ended. And why I did what I did. Mom took the money. She thought it was from the university, but it was from your dad. He got my dad the job here, and your mom was the last one known to be in possession of the Dean’s List.”
My jaw drops. “I’m sorry what?”
“Your mom had the list; my mom called it a ledger, but it has to be the list. She was going to unleash holy hell on your dad—then was silenced for it.” She didn’t look at me. “My guess is he wants it.”
“Good guess. He was just here, and he used you as bait. He wants me to find it.”
“So, now…” She grins. “We have Charlie dig up some fun rumors about some powerful little families and we wait for the person to reveal themselves. Easy. I got you. Because apparently we aren’t big enough bait.”
“You trust her that much?” I ask.
“With my life.” She sighs. “Charlie was literally all I had when I was here freshman year and she knows about our sordid past. If anything, she’s just as invested as we are, plus Charlie loves gossip.”
I laugh. “That she does.”
“And we need someone big enough to gain a lot of attention.” Lilah grins.
“Who would that be?” I ask. “Has to be big enough to get asked to leave.”
Her eyes light up and a sly grin stretches across her face. “My dad.”
