“She’s not taking off with you in this weather,” Jamie says through gritted teeth.
“Um, I think she can decide for herself what she wants, buddy,” Seb snaps back.
“Of course she can,” Jamie says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “And shedoesn’twant to—it’s written all over her face. If you knew her at all, you’d realize that. You’re pressuring her—”
“Bullshit.”
“—and,” Jamie continues, raising his voice over a loud whoosh of wind, “because she doesn’t want to disappoint you, she’s considering doing it anyway. Even if it means she might get hurt.”
“Oh yeah?” Seb says, slinging an arm around my shoulder. His lips twist in a cruel grin. “Is that what she was doing when she almost married you?”
Jamie flinches almost imperceptibly. A brief fluttering of one eyelid. But I know him well enough to tell the blow has landed.
“Jamie,” I start.
“Forget it.” He takes a deep breath, looking off to the sidewhere a crop of palm trees is swaying aggressively. “I just wanted to come say goodbye. Gen and I are flying back home tomorrow.”
“Jamie, wait, please. Can we talk? Things with Seb aren’t what you think—”
“It’s none of my business.”
“Itisyour business,” I insist. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that he called me that night during my bachelorette party. He was just wishing me good luck, I swear. That conversation is not why I ran off to Vegas. Or why you and I didn’t…” I can’t say the words:get married. Spend the rest of our lives together. Come to this very resort on our honeymoon like we were supposed to.
I can feel Seb stiffen beside me. “She’s telling the truth, dude,” he mutters.
“So you’re not—” Jamie cuts himself off with a swallow. He rubs his nose. “You guys haven’t been dating since then?”
“No! God, no.” I shake my head emphatically. “This thing with Seb is…”Completely fake. A stupid ruse to save face in front of you.“… very new,” I say, chickening out.
“Very,verynew,” Seb says sardonically.
“What are you—” Jamie starts to say, but Seb cuts him off before he can form the question.
“She’s saying this whole thing is bullshit.” He removes his arm from my shoulders. “We’re not dating. I just happened to be in town at the same time, and we thought it would be fun to pretend.”
“Fun,” Jamie repeats flatly.
“Yeah, and let me tell you, it’s been a real barrel of laughs.” There’s an edge of bitterness in Seb’s voice. He turns and walks a few paces up the beach toward his “borrowed” Polaris, leaving me and Jamie staring at each other.
“So…” I start, a little sheepishly, looking down at my feet. This isn’t how I wanted the truth to come out, but maybe now that all the cards are on the table, Jamie and I can have a real conversation about what we’re both feeling. About this undeniable tug that’s been drawing us together for the past few days. He must feel it too, right?
Except, when I look up, I see that the confusion on Jamie’s face has been replaced with an icy stillness. “What else have you lied to me about, Sybil?”
“What? Nothing!” I blurt out, suddenly feeling caught like a deer in headlights. Guilt pummels my stomach, making me feel like I’m going to throw up.
But Jamie ignores me, methodically counting off all the times I’ve lied to him on his fingers. “Your college degree, your fake boyfriend, where you went on ourweddingweekend.” What grates the most is howcalmhe is as he lists my mistakes. “I really thought you’d changed.”
“You said you didn’t care about the college thing!” I hate that my voice rises. I hate the emotion that breaks through when Jamie’s able to stand there like he’s made of stone.
“I don’t care about the college thing. I care that youliedto me about it.” He says it matter-of-factly. As if that one lie disqualifies me from being worthy of a place in his life. Any deviation from perfection is enough to get me ejected from Jamie’s meticulously curated, pristinely unspoiled life. I thought maybe I was ready to open up to him but instead, his words unleash something in me.
“Have you ever spent any time thinking aboutwhyit’s so hard to be honest with you?” I shout, taking a step toward him.
A crackle of fire breaks through the ice of Jamie’s expression.“Don’t put your bad decisions on me, Sybil.” Jamie’s voice has dropped dangerously low, and he takes a step toward me too.
“You put everyone you love up on some pedestal and then turn your back when we can’t live up to your insane standards.”
“What are you talking about?” Jamie says, looking genuinely nonplussed now. “You know, sometimes you say things, and it’s like…” He runs an exasperated hand through his hair. “Like you don’t even know me at all. Like you’re describing a totally different person.” He stalks a few paces down the beach before turning back to me. “I never expected you to be perfect.”
