Or maybe, as perfect as everything seemed to me at the time, there were still some parts of me that he was afraid to know.
17
NOW
When Willow andBrett ask me to come to the staff party on Friday night, my answer is “absolutely not.” For one thing, it’s at the lake. For another, it’s a party.
“Oh, come on,” Willow pleads. “The one at Bailey’s house only sucked because of Eric, and Eric is a changed man now. You said it yourself.”
“I don’t believe I used those words.”
“Close enough.”
“I hate the lake,” I tell them, glad that Luke isn’t at our lunch table yet. The last thing I want is for him to hear this discussion.
“You don’t have to swim in it,” Brett says.
“It’s still ... the lake.”
“Don’t be a spoilsport,” Willow says. “Everybody is going. Everyone except you.”
“Luke isn’t,” I say.
“Do you and Luketalk?” Willow asks. “Because he said he would.”
I blink at her, unable to believe my ears. “He said he would? Does he know which lake it is?”
Willow looks to Brett, who looks at me like I’m the dumbest person on the planet.
“On account of how it’s the only lake in Winchester ... yeah,” he says.
“Oh.”
“Ask him yourself,” Willow says as someone slides into the chair beside me. When I look up at him but don’t say anything, Willow asks, “Luke, did you say you’d go to the party tonight?”
“Yeah, why not?” he says.
Why not?
It’s the place where everything fell apart, that’s why not. But as I stare at him, he shrugs and goes on as if that place holds absolutely no meaning in his life. As he reaches for the ketchup across the table, he whispers to me, “It’s just a place.”
Except it’s not just a place. It’stheplace.
Does it mean that little to him?
Didusmean that little to him?
“So, you’re scared of the lake?” Brett asks, still confused.
“I guess,” I say, not willing to go into detail.
“I’ll protect you!” Willow promises, giving me a side hug.
“Be brave,” Brett says. “If you don’t go, you’re giving it power over you. Plus, if you hate it, you can always leave.”
Be brave.
The words catapult me back in time to the night I kissed Luke.
