Love each other well,she said.
The thing I care most about is that you are safe and that nobody gets hurt,she said.
How could I tell her that I had broken every promise I made to her?
How could I tell her what I had done?
THEN
It was one a.m. and I was lying in my bed, eyes still swollen from all the tears I’d shed.
I gripped my phone like a lifeline, waiting for it to ring.
Rereading all the texts I’d missed from Luke while I was getting ready for the party with Ro.
J.J., I’m sorry for being such a dick.
I’ll come tonight.
Are you mad at me?
Leaving now. So much traffic.
I’ll probably get there toward the end, but better late than never, right?
I can’t wait to see you.
We stopped at a very interesting place last time I was home. Can’t wait to pick up where we left off. (You’re in charge this time.)
Seeing his words made my heart hurt.
God, I hoped Ro was able to catch up with him. I hoped he was able to fix this.
If he couldn’t, then I’d managed to destroy one of the very best things in my life.
My relationship with Luke played in my mind like a film. From the moment he’d called me beautiful at the Continental to later that night when I’d kissed him. The evening he’d shown up at my door weeks later and kissed me back. The morning we’d fallen asleep side by side in his bed.
I’d ruined everything.
I tried to squelch the voice that told me this was destined to happen, that from the start I hadn’t belonged with the Cohens. Maybe there was something about me, or inside me, that did something to break the people I loved.
My parents had both been asleep when one of my friends from Spanish class dropped me off, so thankfully I hadn’t had to deal with any questions about why I was crying or why my clothes were wet. Not that they would have really noticed even if they were awake, but still.
I’d had a shower and changed into my pajamas, but sleeping hadn’t even occurred to me.
I couldn’t sleep until I knew what was happening. If Luke and I were finished or if we still had a chance.
I knew Ro had said he’d handle it, but I couldn’t stop myself from sending a couple of texts to Luke.
I’m sorry.
Please call me.
And then I’d set my phone beside me, watching it, waiting for it to ring.
When it finally did, when it vibrated on my bed, my heart nearly fell out of my chest.
It was happening. He was calling.
