“Y-You were…th-the last person I w-wanted to see this. I-I didn’t…want you to kn-know me. Y-You see it now, don’t you? How could I…when I am…s-so pathetic….”
Maxi tried to force a smile on her quivering lips. She failed, and her face crumpled as the tears came bursting outof her.
“I…I am…so ashamed….”
His grip on her shoulders fell away. Curling herself over her knees, Maxi covered her flushed face with her fists as she sobbed. Standing in the middle of a square stark naked could not be more humiliating than this.
She wanted nothing more than to remain an exalted noblewoman in his eyes, for him to continue looking at her as though she were dazzling and not the way she was now—pathetic and miserable.
Maxi choked for air as a burning lump lodged itself in her throat. Her body shook with sobs, and her face was wet with hot tears. She could not keep it bottled any longer. With her lips crushed together, she was tearing at the sheets when she heard Riftan’s hoarse voice above her head.
“I…have had you in my thoughts for a very long time.”
Maxi froze and looked up at him. His arms hung limply at his sides.
“You were always on my mind. Even when you knew nothing of my existence…I only thought of you.” He muttered it like a sacred confession.
Unable to comprehend his words, Maxi could not speak. Salty tears seeped into her mouth, and she saw her reflection in his somber eyes.
“I felt hollow and miserable the more I saw you…. But I couldn’t stop.” His lip quivered slightly. “I kept telling myself to quit. The more I thought of you, the lonelier I felt. Even surrounded by people, I was alone. Give up, I told myself. What’s the point of wanting something you cannot have? That’s what I resolved to do, over and over…. But my eyeswould always seek you before I even realized it.”
He pressed his fist on his forehead and squeezed his eyes shut. “It’s as if my heart no longer belongs to me. It ceased to be mine the moment I met you. So…how could you call yourself nothing? How could you be nothing?”
Maxi stared at Riftan in a daze as his broad shoulders began to shake. He hung his head like a soldier surrendering to the enemy the thing he had tried to protect to the bitter end. After numbly taking in the pitiful sight, Maxi slowly reached out and pulled his head to her chest.
Not knowing what else to say, she whispered his name over and over. How was this feeling of all-encompassing vulnerability and heartrending sadness humanly possible? She had shattered not only herself but also Riftan into a thousand pieces. His body sagged against hers. Their silhouettes across the floor could not have looked more pitiful.
They dropped onto the bed like the rubble of a crumbling rampart. Maxi leaned her face against his cool shoulder. She could no longer pinpoint the reason behind her tears. She simply rubbed her wet cheek against his black hair and poured out the things she had kept buried in her heart. They lay in each other’s arms, motionless in the dark.
—
Since they were unable toprocure an adequate carriage in Zeno, Maxi had to ride double on Talon with Riftan. She sat in front with her back against his chest, entrusting herself completely to Riftan’s arms circled around her as she vacantly watched the passing scenery. Wheat stalks bent like bows, rustling in the breeze, and pale streaks of clouds driftedagainst the brilliant blue sky.
On the third day, the Remdragon Knights rode through a vast grain field and traversed the Eudychal Forest. The absence of a carriage meant that they reached the Anatolium Plain in half the time it had taken the previous year.
As they prepared the camp in the middle of an open field, Gabel looked back at the road and muttered, “The journey was smoother than expected. I thought the duke would pursue us.”
Maxi stiffened as Riftan helped her dismount from Talon. He coldly glared at Gabel.
“I hope you’re not telling me you’re afraid of the duke’s knights,” Riftan growled.
Gabel’s face flushed as though the comment wounded his pride. He stole a glance at Maxi, then shrugged. “It’s best to avoid unnecessary conflict. Especially since her ladyship could get hurt again…”
“Go light a fire if you have the time to talk, Lachzion,” Ursuline barked irritably as he unhooked his luggage from his saddle.
Grumbling under his breath, Gabel started gathering the dry branches around them. Maxi watched from the enclosure of Riftan’s arms as the knights let the horses out to graze and began setting up the tents.
Not long after, a campfire blazed in the middle of the camp. Riftan placed a thick bedroll nearby and lowered Maxi onto it. He had kept her close throughout the journey, not allowing Ruth or the knights to even approach her. Tired of his testy mood, the knights sensibly steered clear of their commander.
Maxi wondered whether all of them knew the full extentof her wretched circumstances now. Had Ruth, Ursuline, or Elliot disclosed to the others what they had witnessed at Croyso Castle? Unable to bear the thought of the knights’ pity, she was too ashamed to ask.
“Come here.”
Riftan pulled Maxi closer to his side. She nestled against him like a chick burrowing under a hen. When everything was ready, Riftan took her into their tent. He laid her on a blanket and proceeded to massage her stiff waist.
He set out her meal for her, and after obediently stuffing herself with bread and stew, Maxi slipped into the bedroll. The distant sounds of swirling winds, neighing horses, and crackling fire filled the night.
After a stretch of silence, Riftan spoke into the dark. “You don’t have to worry about anything. I will protect you.”
