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Our Pain Our Pleasure

Page 36

by J.A. Huss

"I like it," he says simply.

Which—

Okay.

That shouldn't make my chest tight but it does.

"Would you do me a kindness, Miss Rourke?" His accent makes my last name sound almost musical. "Would you accompany me to the bedroom so we can find ya some proper clothes?"

I nod.

Can't speak now.

Because something about the gentleness in his voice is breaking me in a completely different way than Giovanni's intensity or Jino's methodical training.

This feels like being seen as aperson.

Not a project. Not a possession. Not a puzzle to solve.

Just... Emmaleen.

And I don't know what to do with that.

Lorcan helps me up with one hand under my elbow—such a small gesture, so careful—and I feel tears prickling again becausewhyis kindness harder to handle than cruelty?

Why does gentleness make me want to shatter when I can take a whipping without using my safe word?

What the fuck is wrong with me?

We walk to the bedroom in silence.

It's small. Sparse. A double bed with a plain navy comforter, a dresser, a closet with the door half-open revealing clothes on hangers.

Lorcan gestures to the closet.

"Take whatever fits. Or doesn't fit. I'm not particular."

Then he snags a shirt for himself and leaves.

Just... walks out and closes the door behind him.

Giving me privacy.

Like that's a thing I deserve.

I stand there for a moment, staring at the closed door, feeling the absence of surveillance cameras like a missing limb.

No one's watching.

No one's cataloging my choices or adding demerits for hesitation.

I'm just... alone.

With clothes.

In a bedroom.

Like a normal person doing a normal thing.