The warmth of his touch stirred a reaction in me, as it always seemed to do, but this one was a far cry from the comfort and yearning of resting in his embrace. Now, I felt shame. My weakness painted my skin in shades of sickly bruising beneath ineffective makeup, and the way the light played off his perfect features made me feel even worse in comparison.
I sighed in disappointment and tried to flinch away from him. “Is it really that noticeable?” I muttered.
Thanatos stopped me from turning away with a gentle hand on my shoulder, then cupped my face again. I reluctantly looked him in the eyes, and I shivered as I watched his countenance turn from ice to fiery rage. “Who touched you?” he demanded again, and the intensity in his voice caused my fingers to shake. “Cyrie, tell me who it was this instant!I am going to kill him.”
I had never seen him angry before. Anxiety thrummed in my chest to mirror his rage. “I—I thought you didn’t decide when people die,” I stuttered.
“I can if I slice his head off!” He let me go and snatched his silver scythe right out of thin air, giving it a twirl as he paced furiously across the room. “It would be well enough deserved. My indifference to the punishment of mortals need not persist one more moment!” He swung the blade through the air as he said it, producing a faint hum. The muscles in his wings tensed,pulling his feathers into an intimidating mimicry of a furious bird of prey.
I didn’t know what to do, so I stood frozen, struck dumb by a mixture of fear and shame and a surge of irrepressible heat. When he noticed my expression, Thanatos made a frustrated groan and tried to relax his wings. “Fuck, now I’m scaring you.”
“Yeah, a little,” I agreed weakly. “But…on the other hand, you’re rather captivating when you’re all worked up.” I wasn’t sure wherethathad come from, but at least it brought a smile to his lips, if only for a moment. Thanatos sighed heavily and rested his scythe against the wall. He traipsed back to me and held out his hands, though I could tell he was biting back another spout of outrage. I gave him my hands to hold without thinking twice.
“Please tell me what happened,” he said, keeping his voice measured.
So I did, reluctantly. Procession, party, storm, Keeper, ouch. “And I really don’t want to talk about it,” I finished. “I just want to move on and pretend nothing happened.” There was a short silence, and then…
“So I can kill him, right?” he offered bluntly.
“Fuck! No, Thanatos, please don’t kill him.”
“Why not?”
I peeled away from him to sit down in a huff. “It won’t make any difference,” I complained, putting my face into my hands. “And it would probably just bring even more trouble.”
“Why do you defend the man who hit you?” he asked incredulously. “I do not understand.”
“There’salwaysgoing to be a man who hits me,” I groaned. “At least I already know how to deal with this one! Ugh, I don’t like to think about it. Why would I want to dwell on being helpless? It’s embarrassing, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
He sat on the bench beside me and caught my eyes, his gaze piercing through me. “No. No one will touch you. Not ever again. I will not allow it, nor will I allow you to berate yourself over this.” He took my hand again and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “And I do not have to kill the man to keep this promise,” he added. “In fact, there are many things I could do to him.”
A shiver ran up my spine. My mind was a mess of guilt and rage, belief and disbelief. I didn’t know what to say, but I squeezed his hand in return. I was just so tired. I hated being powerless, and I hated to speak of it more, even to someone as well meaning as Death.Especiallyto someone as capable as Death. I sniffed. Gods damn it—why couldn’t I ever keep myself from crying?
“Fuck,” Thanatos swore under his breath. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me against his chest in an effort to quell my sorrow. The ease of it shocked me despite the welling of my tears. Were these touches something we shared now, just like that?
I buried my face in his shoulder and tried to pull myself together. It would be unhelpful to waste our time on depressing, uncontrollable facts of life. I’d rather spend it some other way. Pressed against him like this, perhaps? Feeling the heat of his hands on my back and his breath in my hair? Smelling hints of warm spices against his neck, his skin so close I could kiss it if I…
“Fuck,” I moaned, and I sat up quickly, letting him go so I could put my head back into my hands. Gods, I was such a mess. Hiding my face, I peeked over the tips of my fingers, searching for something with which to cover my churning emotions. My eyes landed on the basket I’d packed up with festival food.
“Um, I…I brought food for you,” I mumbled.
Thanatos gave me a funny look and seemed to debate something to himself, eyes sparkling, words barely restrained. Mercifully, though, he decided not to point out my flustereddemeanor. Instead he leaned back against the bench, flattening his wings out so that they spread more prominently behind us. He arched a brow. “Interesting. But I told you before that I do not eat.”
“Actually, you told me that yourarelyeat,” I corrected. “There’s a difference. Besides, this food is special. I thought you might enjoy a bit of mischief, given where I got it from.” I cracked a slight smile, and he mirrored it when realization dawned upon him.
“You invite Death to your blessed offering?” Thanatos snickered. “Oh, but Idoenjoy this. Do you not shudder that your crops should fail at the very suggestion?”
“It’s a risk I’m willing to entertain,” I teased, opening the basket. Within were plates and linen napkins, along with sorted remnants of my city’s feast: flat bread, spread, and preserved cuttings of the ceremonial meat, along with a selection of figs and pitted olives. I regretted that I’d been unable to steal away with wine as well, but I couldn’t have done it without revealing my bruised face to more of the temple staff.
“I do not think this a risk that your elders would allow,” said Thanatos. “Nor your sisters, for that matter, if they knew of it.”
“Well, I’m the one who’s met you,” I countered, setting out the plates and beginning to assemble them. “They haven’t.”
“You think yourself so perceptive as to weigh a blight against your judgement of my character? Hubris is the downfall of man, you know.”
He had a point. But luckily for me, he couldn’t see the flicker of indecision wash over my face, turned toward the food as I was. I recovered my confidence and finished my assembly of the small meal. “Come on, Thanatos,” I goaded. “Don’t tell me you’re not tempted. Or do you think someoneelsewould be bothered by this?”
I looked back at his face and tried to read his reaction, just in time for his stoicism to crack into bright laughter. “Clever mortal!” he praised. “It is notmycharacter you question. You intend to gauge my knowledge of the Olympians’ omnipotence. You want to know if I thinkthey’dknow I was eating their ritual food.”
