* * *
I woke early to the soft light of sunrise, and my dreams faded away. Thanatos was gone, of course. I still stared at the empty space beside me for a moment too long before forcing myself out of bed and into the wash. I was met with Alex’s questioning eyes upon my return to our chamber.
“My night was spent in disturbing dreams,” she told me, her brow furrowed. “I’ve already told the others.” Apparently, Sophie and Zoe were already up and out.
“What happened?” I asked.
“I saw a flower wither as the dust surrounding it rose up to touch the sky. The sands swept around me, stealing my vision. And when the wind ceased and the dust fell…I saw the city gates crumbling before my eyes. A curl of golden hair rested at my feet.” Her eyes flashed with intrigue and a hint of fear. “What do you think?”
I had no idea what I thought. “Sounds ominous,” I offered, frowning. “Probably something to write up for the elders.”
“That’s what I thought,” she grumbled. “There goes my lunch break, along with my sense of security. I hope Apollo gives us more.”
“I do too,” I replied, staring off into the distance. I reached out with my will and felt for the divine, begging for a prophetic connection to reveal the meaning of her words. Nothing came to me. Not that I was expecting it to.
“What aboutyourvision? Could that be connected in some way?”
“What? I…oh, right. That one.” The one I’d made up to cover my first sighting of Thanatos. I probably should have remembered that.
“You haven’t even thought about it, have you?” she groaned. “Dear fucking gods, Cyrie.” Alex scoffed and crossedher arms to chastise me. “Okay, look, I realize you’ve got your own thing going on over here, and we’re all fine with that. But could you maybe give a little more effort to your actualjob?”
“Right, yeah,” I mumbled. “Sorry.” The uncomfortable silence stretched on. Bad. Oracle.
I looked down, my cheeks hot with embarrassment. Yes, it was true that I didn’t try very hard to ‘see’ things these days. Perhaps I’d indeed been distracted, noncommittal…but what was the use of me anyway? Even if I’d tried, I thought, I doubted that anything valuable would ever pass my lips. It was not as if I could gain insight on a whim, the way it sometimes seemedtheyall could! Weren’t three functioning oracles enough for a city?
Anger and shame welled in my gut, but I said nothing more. I didn’t want to fight with her. Instead, I shut my mouth and continued to admire the admittedly impressive stonework of the floor beneath my feet.
Alex sighed and moved on. “So what was it the guy said to you, then, in your vision?”
Right, back to the ‘vision.’ I closed my eyes and cast my mind back to that very first night. “He said…‘it is not your time.’ And then he said he’d be back for me.”
“That was all?” she pressed.
“That was all,” I repeated, and it was. Mostly.
Alex took a moment to process that. “Well, that’s…unhelpful,” she finally muttered. “Alright, get dressed. Let’s just get to the courtyard.”
When I’d pulled my clothes on, she started down the stairs, and I trailed behind her, mentally erasing my persona in preparation for the day. By the time we saw sun I would be a good little priestess once again. That, at least, I could do.
It didn’t stop me from complaining at night, though. Thanatos listened to me while I told the story, stroking my bareskin idly. I lay in a cozy snuggle with my head on his chest, his eternal heartbeat thumping softly in my ear.
“Why do I have to be souseless?” I groaned once I’d relayed the tales of my failure. “I could neverseelike they can, and I’m sure I never will. Why can’t they understand that? I’m just a one-off with a pretty face, and sometimes that really hurts.” My eyes watered, but I forced the tears away, focusing on his steady heartbeat. I needed to practice containing myself.
“You need not have the strongest gifts to live the fullest life,” he said gently. “Besides, you can seebetterthan they can. Perhaps not the same things, or in the same way, but that is no matter. And I would hope you consider me to be worth the trade-off.”
“Of course I do!” I gave him a squeeze. “Ah, you’re right. I suppose I can’t ask for everything, can I?” It was a bittersweet truth, but one I needed to remember.
His fingers drifted softly over my shoulders, sending a shiver down my spine. “Can I make you feel better?” he asked. Such an innocent voice, but I knew better. Oh, insatiable Thanatos.
“Well, you can certainly try.”
He made me feel better that night, and all the nights that followed. At the fading of every sunset we would run away together and make love until the cycle of death could be postponed no longer. Even then, when the flight of souls was complete, he would often return from the depths to lie with me in the seers’ tower. He’d cuddle me and whisper sweet nothings, and lull me to sleep with tales heard by no mortal ear. His warmth was always a welcome gift.
This was the happiest time of my life, this wonderful summer. But the seasons must always change, and with them, the favor of the Fates shifts as well. Those arbiters of life, who command the hour of every beginning and every end, carenothing for the wishes of mortals or gods. For all things there must be an end, they demand. Our end was set in motion on the night the temple finally caught me.
12
For all anyone knew, my nightly excursions were for the purpose of meditation. My position as seer, after all, did require excessive contemplation on the intentions of the gods. With this in mind I had shrouded myself in the ruse of pilgrimage, carrying incense with me across the grounds, feigning reverence to the Olympians as I journeyed into the waiting arms of Death. And it did work out, for a time.
