* * *
Ben heard his phone buzz and he picked it up from the nightstand. It was seven forty-five and he still had some time before he needed to get up and prepare for the day.
He read Rob’s message and was confused. What had happened between last night and this morning? Was Rob ill or something?
Rob, what’s wrong? Are you ill? What can I do to help?
He waited a moment but there was no response.
Then he got scared. He thought back to dinner the night before and the time they spent together afterward. Did he do something wrong? Did he say something that offended Rob in some way?
No, everything seemed fine. At Ben’s door they had kissed good night and agreed on breakfast today. Nothing seemed amiss.
Was Rob having second thoughts about seeing him? When they talked back at the hotel in Barcelona, they’d agreed that they both had some things to work through, but he had thought that if they tried together it would be okay.
Maybe he should have attempted to talk to Rob a bit more about where things stood between them. They admitted they were attracted to each other, and wanted to see more of each other, but perhaps they should have talked in more detail about what that really meant. Was he moving too fast? Was Rob getting cold feet now? What was going on in his head?
He checked his phone again, but there was still nothing from Rob.
I’m here if you need me.
He felt helpless. If Rob was dealing with something, he wanted to be there to help. But he figured the best thing to do was wait. Wait and hope that Rob would figure out that he could lean on Ben if he needed to. Giving Rob some space felt like the right thing to do, even though he wanted to run up to his suite and hold him.
Ben showered and dressed in jeans and a navy long-sleeved T-shirt. He decided to try the Cove Café for breakfast. They had passed it in Seaside Cove the day before and Rob had explained that they served a light breakfast and lunch.
He got a toasted bagel with cream cheese, some fresh fruit, and a cup of coffee. He picked a table outside so he could enjoy the view and people-watch. And secretly he hoped that if Rob happened to walk by, they could talk. He wanted so badly to tell Rob that he was here to support him.
But Rob never appeared. Ben tried not to worry too much and once he’d finished his breakfast, he set off on a walk, hoping to burn off some nervous energy.
Ben eventually made his way up to the Pool Deck and looked up at the balcony of Rob’s suite. The sheer drapes in front of the sliders were all closed and there didn’t seem to be any lights on, so he couldn’t see anything except the empty balcony.
He texted Rob one more time.
I’m worried about you, but I’ll leave you alone if you just tell me that you’re ok.
He waited a moment and when no message appeared, he sighed and put his phone away.
He’ll call or text when he’s ready. I need to do something to take my mind off this for now.
It was a bit chilly out on deck, so he headed inside in search of a quiet place to sit.
He studied the ship map near the elevators and saw the Lighthouse Lounge on Deck 19, aft. There, he found a nice quiet space with an almost three-hundred-and-sixty-degree view of the ocean. Consulting the ship’s app on his phone, he saw that the bar didn’t open until four o’clock, so that explained why it was almost empty.
He chose a chair near the windows overlooking the back of the ship and watched the wake as they moved through the water. He pulled his Kindle out of his back pocket and began to read.
He was totally engrossed in his book when his phone buzzed. He looked at the screen and realized that a couple of hours had passed. He saw a text from Rob stating he was okay but needed more time. Ben felt a huge rush of relief.
Ben stared out at the water. He could get through this. He and Rob really needed to talk. Back in Barcelona when they first kissed and Ben admitted that he might be demi, they agreed they wanted to work together to see if there really was something between them. Rob admitted that he sometimes couldn’t get out of his own head, and Ben was afraid that was exactly what had happened to Rob that morning.
I have to be patient and give him some space. But if he’ll talk to me, we’ll be okay.
* * *
Rob heard his phone ding and saw two messages from Ben, but he couldn’t think about him right now. He felt too raw. And alone.
What is happening to me right now?
He felt so restless. He walked onto the balcony but as they were out to sea, it felt just a bit too breezy to stay out there. Back in the suite, he flung himself on the bed and curled up. He tossed and turned a bit, but eventually he slept.
