“It’s okay. I forgave you, remember? I was just afraid you were sick or something and I felt helpless.”
“Iwassick. Well, heartsick and not thinking clearly. And when I began doubting myself, I just turned inward and probably made it worse.”
“Did you stay in your suite the whole time?” Ben asked. When Rob nodded, Ben continued. “I may have taken a walk up on the Pool Deck and tried to look up into your suite, but all I could see was the empty balcony.”
“Yeah, I curled up in bed and eventually fell asleep again. When I woke up, I realized that I really needed to talk to Sam. If you haven’t figured it out already, she’s my go-to shoulder to cry on. She’s also the foot that will happily kick my ass when I need it.”
Ben laughed. “Well, if I couldn’t be there for you…” he started, “…and I totally get why you felt that you couldn’t talk to me at that point, so it’s okay,” he quickly added. “I’m glad you have her in your life. And again, I really need to send her flowers.”
“Me too. As soon as I texted her and said I needed her, she Skyped me. It really helped that we could talk face-to-face. She listened while I told her about us hanging out together over the past couple of days and then how I lost it this morning.”
Rob smiled, feeling the knot is his stomach untwist. “Then she told me what I needed to hear. She told me that I deserved some happiness even if I didn’t think so. And she said that Alan would tell me the same thing if he were here.
“Even though I had thought some of those same things, along with the self-doubt and other thoughts that maybe I didn’t really deserve you, when she said it, it resonated in here.” He placed his hand over his heart.
“Then she pretty much kicked my ass and told me to clean myself up because I looked like hell,” Rob laughed. “And she wasn’t wrong. She told me to call you and apologize. She also said that you and I needed to talk more. She’s right about that, too. Hell, she’s always right, but don’t tell her I said that. She thinks it enough for all of us!”
Ben snickered, “My lips are sealed.”
“After I spoke with her, I planned to call you, but I was feeling restless, so I used a meditation app to try and calm myself down and I dozed off for a little while. I dreamed about Alan, but it felt like more than a dream. He was lying beside me and told me to listen to Sam and get out of my own head. He also told me to give you a chance. That you would be a good person to have in my life.”
Rob paused a moment, figuring out what to say next. “So, are we okay, Ben? If I try harder to not shut you out, will you give me another chance?”
“Yes, Rob. Like I said before, I understand why you couldn’t talk to me earlier. And yeah, we both need to do a better job about sharing what’s rattling around in our brains. When I admitted to you that I thought I might be demi, we never really spoke much about that. I’m still processing it myself, but I do want us to talk about it.”
Rob nodded. "That sounds great."
“Maybe not today though. I think maybe we’ve talked enough for today,” he grinned at Rob. Then, changing the subject he asked, “Have you eaten?”
“Um, I had a protein bar a few hours ago. I really wasn’t hungry, but I think I could eat now,” Rob answered. “What about you?”
“I had breakfast at the Cove Café and this bottle of water. Yeah, I could eat too.”
“Can we stay in, though? I feel like I ran a marathon or something—I’m exhausted, but relieved, and really don’t feel up to dealing with other people tonight.”
“Yeah, a quiet night sounds good. I know I saw a room-service menu somewhere. Let’s see what’s available.”
“It’s probably in the folder near the phone. The one over on the bar?”
Ben got up and found the folder. He sat next to Rob on the sofa so they could look at it together. Rob nudged closer and put his arm around Ben’s shoulder as they read.
“Hmmm, a Caesar salad and the fettuccine Alfredo with grilled chicken. I need comfort food tonight. And red wine. I think red wine is in order,” Rob said after he had perused the menu.
“That sounds perfect. I think I’ll have the same,” Ben agreed. “They have a Malbec on the wine list. Is that okay?”
Rob nodded and Ben dialed room service. He placed the order, asking for two bottles of wine.
“Are you trying to get me drunk so you can have your way with me, kind sir?” Rob asked, a twinkle in his eye. “What kind of a boy do you think I am?” he added dramatically.
Ben laughed and turned to face Rob. “No, but I figured we’ve both had a tough day today. Granted yours was much worse than mine, but still. Neither one of us is driving, and it’s just a short elevator ride to your suite, so if we have a bit too much, no harm. We’ve earned it.”
“And if we don’t finish the wine today, there’s always tomorrow.”
