“Oh shit,” Tom groaned, shaking his head.
“What?”
“Now I gotta tell Mom,” he choked out, staring at his feet.
Char put her hand on his shoulder. “Hey, you can do this. Besides, she already knows that you’re planning on moving out, so it won’t be as big of a shock to her, right?”
Tom sighed.
“I didn’t say it would be easy,” Char admitted. “And it will probably get a little ugly, but ultimately, it’s gonna be okay.”
Tom pulled into the driveway,turned off the engine, and sat in his truck for a few minutes. He chewed at his bottom lip, thinking about what would happen when he told his mom that he had found an apartment and was definitely moving out.Well, better get this over with.
His mom was washing a few dishes at the kitchen sink when he walked in. “Hi, sweetie. How was work today?”
“Okay. Typical day. Steady.”
“That’s good. Dinner’s in the oven. Should be ready in about half an hour. I made a cottage pie,” she told him, drying her hands on a yellow dish towel.
“Um, Mom, we need to talk.”
“Of course, Tommy. What’s wrong? Oh, did that boy Will dump you? I told you it?—”
“No, Mom, that’s not it,” he interrupted. “Will and I are still seeing each other.”
“It’s not work, is it? Your boss wouldn’t let you go. He knows you’re one of the best workers he has.”
“No, Mom, it’s about what we talked about a couple of weeks ago. About my getting my own place.”
“Oh, Tom, I thought we went over this. It’s not the right time. Do you have any idea how much an apartment is going to cost?” Alice spoke rapidly as if that would make it all go away somehow. “You just wait, and we’ll talk about this after your next semester. Summer’s a much better time to think about things like this.”
“Mom, listen to me,” Tom said, staring into her eyes. “I looked at a place this morning before I started work. It’s small but nice. And it’s right in town, so I could walk to work if I wanted. Plus, it’s cheaper than what I thought I’d have to pay.”
“I see.” Alice’s face was blank. “So … it’s like I said, you’re gonna leave me too. Am I that bad of a person that you can’t stand to be around me either?” Her shoulders shook, and Tom saw a tear slowly slide down her cheek. “What’s wrong with me that everyone wants to get away from me as fast as they can?” Her voice broke.
“Oh, Mom!” Tom wrapped his arms around her. “Nothing’s wrong with you. You’re a good person with a good heart.” He paused, wondering if he should say what had been lurking in his brain for a while.Well, might as well just rip that bandage all the way off.“It’s just that you’ve let what happened between you and Dad affect everything else in your life. You’ve never let go of that, Mom.” She sobbed into his shoulder, and he just held her.
Eventually, she pulled away and looked up at him from red-rimmed eyes. “What are you saying, Tom? Let go of what?”
“The hate, Mom. The hate that’s been festering for almost twenty years. Dad’s gone; he’s not coming back. For all we know, he could be dead, but you just go on hating him and believingthat because your marriage didn’t work out, no relationship can ever work. And what’s the second thing you said, after trying to convince me to stay? That something must be wrong with you if everyone in your life leaves.” Tom tried to keep the anger out of his voice, hoping that his mom might finally understand what he was trying to say. “Did you ever stop and think that maybe Dad was at fault? Maybe there was something wrong with him, and that’s why things didn’t work out between the two of you? I love you, Mom, but you’ve got to stop thinking this way.”
“I just don’t …” Alice paused as if finally letting the words sink in. “I’ve felt like this for so long, Tommy. What am I gonna do now?”
“Did you ever consider seeing someone to talk about these feelings?” Tom asked quietly.
“I don’t know …” She trailed off.
“Just think about it, Mom. Now I’m gonna go wash up, and then we can sit down and eat. You know how much I like your cottage pie.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Will
U awake?
The text camein just as Will finished the book he’d been reading on his Kindle. It was a mystery story featuring gay characters in New York. One owned an antique store, and his boyfriend was a police detective. Good stuff.
Instead of answering the text, he called Tom, who answered on the first ring.
