I’m supposed to leave. That’s the plan, but my feet don’t move.
Inside, I see Finn and Duncan standing at the end of a pew, chatting with Cheryl from the church. Beth Sterling got her dad out of town to keep the peace today, and two of her brothers not only showed up, but are also staying to support Meredith and Sawyer.Those assholes.Everything growing up was a competition for them—who could get the best grades, score the most touchdowns, make the most home runs, get out of the deepest mud pits—and now they’re in there being the bigger person?
They’re in there with Meredith on the hardest day of her life.
I flash to a time when I felt so damn alone. To when I felt out-of-control and hopeless. When a future I didn’t plan loomed in front of me, a foreshadowing for what was to come only months later. The emotions from a different funeral, my mom’s funeral, bombard me.
“I… can’t leave.”
Bowen cocks his head, his eyes narrowing. “You’re actually going to stay?”
As if he senses the drama about to start, Landry completes the circle of three, closing out prying eyes. “Who the hell is staying?”
“We are,” I reply quietly.
“Why would we want to do that?” Landry challenges, forever the stubborn youngest kid.
“It’s the right thing to do.”So don’t make a goddamn scene.
Bowen lets out a cynical laugh. “Is it the right thing because you’re fuck?—”
“Don’t,” I growl.
“Don’t what?” He’s whisper-yelling now. “Sneak up to her room? Whatever you put over her mouth last night didn’t work.”
Landry screws his perfect face up. “You andMeredith?”
I don’t need Landry to know about last night. “I’m not leaving her to do this alone?—”
“She has Sawyer,” Bowen hisses.
“—and if only I go in there, imagine what people will say. These funerals have already been the focus around town, and people don’t like that we held them separately.” The comments at the brewery were both prying and chiding. “People look up to us. We let them down with the funeral arrangement, and news of the sales, when it gets out, is going to piss them off.” And something about all that’s sitting wrong with me. “No matter what we think of Holly, that’s Meredith’s sister, the woman who raised her, and she just lost her. We all know how that feels.”
Each of my brothers’ jaws could cut glass. They exchange a look that speaks volumes, none of it meant for me to hear. When they return to facing me, their answer is clear.
TWENTY-FOUR
MEREDITH
James is in the front, standing behind Holly’s casket. While I was shaking hands and giving hugs, he and his assistant swapped out the coffins. The flowers remain the same—a detail Calder probably doesn’t care about. Several of the attendees stayed, easing only part of my anxiety.
I suck in a steadying breath. It’ll be okay. I can get through this.
If Holly was standing next to me right now, she’d take my hand in hers and whisper that we’d go to Williston and get ice cream later. “A little sweetness for the sadness,” she used to say when I was upset about something.
Duncan catches me for a quick hug. He’s as tall as Calder, and as strong, but I’m glad he lets me go immediately. “I’m sorry, Meredith.”
Finn embraces me next. He’s in his brown deputy uniform. “Your sister was a sweetheart. She will be missed.”
I really needed to hear that. She could’ve ditched me anytime and lived her life free of a kid sister, but she took on more of a mother role instead. Her loss leaves a giant hole behind.
“Thank you, and thank you both for coming. It means a lot.”
My feet drag heavily on my way to the front pew. I’m almost to my seat when Tanner rises. Concern lines his face.
“Hey, Mer. How are you?”
Surprise flits through me, cooling off the heat from being outside. His presence only makes me uncomfortable and shows me how Calder devastated every past experience in bed last night. Except I shouldn’t be thinking about the explosive climax that stopped my heart for a good ten seconds right now.
