I chew nervously at my bottom lip, swallowing hard, pushing back the constant threat of tears. It’s been like this for months, and I’m done with it. I want to come out of this stronger but also honest.
“I would never agree to do this without paying you,” Allie states. “You need to be compensated for your truth, because if the rumors are true, he’s trying to pay you to stay silent.”
The rumors are true, but I don’t tell her that. I keep that to myself for now because one little slip-up, and it could all go public.
“I’ll do the interview.”
It’s simple and to the point. No more talk of what it will be like. I’m jumping in and saying fuck it to all the years I’ve been quiet, been told to shut my mouth and look pretty. To all those times I was told what to wear, where to go, who to talk to, how to behave and what not to say.
“I can be there tomorrow,” Allie says, and I laugh a little, shaking my head at her enthusiasm. Or, if we’re being real here, it’s more about how quickly she can get a jump on everyone else.
She wants my story out in the world before the mainstream media takes over. The only thing she has going for her right now is that Sean got himself arrested, and no one loves a story of an arrest like the tabloids.
“What time?” I ask, looking at Kai, wondering what he’s thinking about all of this.
He’s so stoic and even, never once telling me what to do or what he thinks, just supporting me through it all.
“Can you do around 5:00 p.m.? I’ll be flying in on an early flight from Los Angeles, so that should give us time to set up.”
“Sounds good.”
“Oh, and Quinn, the plan is to pay you five million for your story, but that is negotiable.”
Well, shit.
Allie arrives the next day, sending me the address of some amazing house she’s rented on the beach, and I ask Kai to join me.
“You sure you’re okay with joining me?” I ask him as we ride over there together. “If at any point things get uncomfortable for you, you can leave.”
“Babe,” he breathes out on a sigh. “These are all things I should be saying to you. No matter what is said or what happens, I’m here for you. I’m here to support you and make sure you’re okay.”
I let his words wash over me, taking them in, and on the tip of my tongue are the words I’ve been dying to say to him.
To tell him I love him. That I fell in love with him. All those weeks ago on that beach, when I saw him come out of the water to talk to me, there was something about him, but I was afraid to admit it to myself.
It felt too soon, too scary, too real, but he’s shown up every damn day, stood by me, encouraged me and made me feel safer than I have in years.
I’m about to do something that could change everything in my life. It could be freeing, or it could ruin any privacy I once had. But I can’t leave it all unsaid, bottled up and clouding my thoughts.
I need to move on, and this is the best way I know how.
And as scared as I am, I know Kai will be here no matter how this plays out or how Sean responds, or what happens when it’s all over with.
“Thank you,” is all I can say, though.
My words feel trapped in my throat, taken over by the nervousness and all the years I have been silenced. I had no idea how much Sean was limiting me, keeping me from being myself until I landed here in Hawaii. Being away from him has given me clarity, and things were far worse than I remember them being in the moment.
It’s the reason I’m here, sitting in the driveway of this massive home on the water, preparing myself for an interview that will undoubtedly blow up.
But isn’t that why I’m doing this?
So I can put it out there on my terms and say goodbye to this nightmare.
“You ready?” Kai asks me, lost in thought. His words sound distant and quiet.
Nodding, he opens the door, and I follow suit, taking his outstretched hand in mine. He squeezes tightly, pulling me to him, and as he lets go, he circles my shoulders with his arm.
“You can do this, Quinn,” he whispers into my hair, holding me still, stopping me from walking to the front door. “Be the confident, give-no-fucks girl I met on the beach.”
