I’d been far too long out of the company of women, and while sitting this close to one was bound to happen in carriages or on settees, I hadn’t yet adjusted to that newfound reality.
Miss Blackwell leaned toward me and, sure enough, her elbow grazed mine. “This and the summer house are some of the best parts of the estate.”
I turned to look at her, only to find her closing her eyes and leaning her head back. Charlie was doing the same. They looked so alike in that moment, not only in their coloring with their dark hair and thick dark lashes closed over their high cheekbones, but in their whole demeanor.
This wasn’t the first time they’d done this. It was obviously a Blackwell family ritual, and somehow I’d been invited to join it. It was a small ritual, one I wasn’t even certain they knew they were performing. It was a habit—a choice made over and over by the members of the Blackwell family whenever they sat in this spot.
And I was intruding upon it.
I didn’t belong here with this brother and sister, any more than I belonged at the summer house with them and their parents. I pushed myself carefully up from the bench, not wanting to disturb Miss Blackwell and her brother any more than I already had.
Miss Blackwell’s hand snaked up to my elbow and pulled me back down. She opened those gray eyes, so unlike the ones I’d dreamed about for six years, yet somehow already familiar.“Stay. This is not a place for quick stops and rushed visits. Give it time and let it overcome you.”
Being overcome was about the last thing I wanted at the moment. I needed to be in complete control of my faculties to accomplish my goals. I didn’t have time to sit and listen to a waterfall with the woman who was actively trying to thwart them.
I wasn’t going to have the things the Blackwells had—loved ones, special places, even groans that accompanied activities done so often to have them become mundane—without working for them. This was no time for distraction, or relaxation, for that matter.
Her hand warmed my sleeve and I didn’t know how to remove it. She caught me staring at it and wetted her full lower lip. It was a simple movement—I shouldn’t have even noticed it. But I did, and I was worried it was going to be one more thing I thought of when Miss Blackwell came to mind.
“Stay, Captain,” she said softly again, and something quickened in my chest. She leaned closer to me and her mouth turned up in a grin. I glanced at Charlie, but his eyes were still closed, and the waterfall drowned out the sounds of our exchange. “I can’t be at ease if I don’t know where you are. And this is a place for resting.”
I furrowed my brows. The general had an absolute firebrand for a daughter. She shouldn’t say such things to a man she barely knew, especially when she didn’t mean them. “You can’t...” I started and then I paused, because of course she couldn’t. She knew if I left here, it would be to find Harriet. And Miss Blackwell may think of me as a good soldier, but I wasn’t a good enough man to even be given a chance at her cousin’s heart.
But I already owned it, didn’t I?
Or at least, I thought I had. Each day I spent in Harriet’s company, I’d become less certain.
With an eye on her hand still on my arm, I settled back down. She smiled at my acquiescence and, once again, I was struck by how similar, and yet different, she was from Harriet. Harriet’s smiles had softened me like honey in the sunshine—they were warm and straightforward. Miss Blackwell’s smiles were complex, riddled with plots and secrets that I didn’t think I would ever understand.
Thankfully, I preferred a life simple and straightforward. Any man who ended up with Miss Blackwell would need to learn to sleep with one eye open.
She let go of my arm and folded her hands together at her waist, once again leaning her head back and closing her eyes. It was such a vulnerable position. Somehow she was comfortable allowing me to sit by her—watch her, even—while she enjoyed it.
My life would have been much simpler if Miss Blackwell hadn’t been in that croft that night.
My eyes trailed down her face to her neck and from her neck to her collar bone. Less than half an inch of that pale brushstroke of skin showed at the edge of her gown. If I hadn’t seen the whole of it, I probably wouldn’t have even noticed the slight change in color. That spot of skin was one more secret I kept about her. How many secrets would the two of us have before these three weeks were out?
Before she’d taken a dislike to me, she had warmed me with a fire, given me her clothing, and stayed with me at one of my worst times. Despite all of her manipulations, seeing her like this—seeing the beginning of that mark on her skin—reminded me of the woman I’d woken up to. Where had that woman gone? I wanted to thank her.
Charlie cleared his throat. He was no longer leaning back, but was glancing at me from around Miss Blackwell. “It doesn’t work if you are staring at my sister.” Miss Blackwell’s mouthticked up, but she didn’t open her eyes or glance at me, thank the heavens.
“I wasn’t staring,” I hissed at him.
“Just close your eyes and listen,” Charlie said with a huff that made it perfectly clear I hadn’t understood the sacredness of this space and I was soon going to be thrown out of it completely.
Only a moment ago, I’d wanted nothing more than to leave, but on the threat of being forced away, I immediately leaned back and closed my eyes in imitation of the siblings.
My muscles were tense, and my mind raced with the thoughts of the woman sitting beside me. I hadn’t been staring at her, had I? Why would I do that?
I’d made a plan six years ago and so far I’d accomplished every part. I had even exceeded my expectations with my success in the army. There was only one step left and it should have been the easiest one.
Marry Harriet and bring her home to Applewood.
But I was being distracted by a waterfall and a woman who had asked me to stay with her, even though I was fairly certain she didn’t care for me at all. But leaving someone when they asked me to stay was something I could never do.
I took a deep breath and folded my hands over my waist as Miss Blackwell had done. Perhaps it was time I thought a little less and simply listened to the world around me.
The rushing and splashing of water made for a loud kind of silence, the rumble so constant it eventually drowned out my own thoughts. I inhaled again, slower this time. There was dampness and earth in the air in addition to that haunting hint of citrus, and I allowed it to envelop me. The sounds had seemed steady before, but when I listened closer, there were nuances to it—splashes that came and went without a pattern, a gentle melody that never repeated but was always the same. There was music in this place.
