A middle-aged woman wearing a polo with the county insignia, walks up to Matt. He pulls open the back hatch and gives her the diaper bag. Blaine curls forward and swears under his breath. Weston’s peaceful sleep is disrupted by the noise of his sister’s fit. He starts to cry. I undo my seatbelt and almost bolt from the SUV. It’s not fair, but I can’t watch this exchange. I jog to the end of the block and around the corner, out of sight. Then I hunch over and bawl. I start to count, then when it doesn’t help bring my breathing under control, I hum. We’re in a busy downtown area and I’m getting people gawking at my behavior as they walk or drive past. I don’t care. Anxiety has a grip on my body and mind.
Leaning on a crosswalk sign, I’m hyperventilating when Blaine comes around the corner straight for me. He swoops down and crushes me to him. “Fuck this… most definitely fuck this.”
Matt pulls up next to us in the SUV after we spend fifteen minutes inconsolably crying. His eyes are red, and it’s the only indication he’s bothered. “Let’s head to the hotel and get some sleep.” Sleep? My brain is in hyperdrive. I’d be more willing to drive directly to the Bradford home.
We climb into the backseat together and I pick up a ponytail holder with a plastic butterfly attached to it that must have come out of Waverly’s hair. I slip it into my pocket and a strangled sob comes from me. Blaine’s hand interlaces with mine. “I didn’t have a choice,” Matt says in a defensive tone. “We can’t legally keep watching them.” My rational mind knows this, but that scared little girl that lives deep inside of me is freaking out right now. We dropped two unsuspecting babies into the hands of people who could mistreat them.
I’m bone weary. It’s not just the lack of sleep in the last day, but the emotional roller coaster. I want to check in with Caleb and Hutton, but I’m afraid of breaking down again in front of them. I mumble that I’m going to Blaine’s room to lay down. He hands his keycard over. The only one that could truly understand my lost feeling is Keir. I mentally berate myself for turning to more disastrously sad thoughts. Whatever guiding spirits may exist, please bring him back to me. I need him. I really need him.
Standing motionless under the hot shower, more tears pour out. I hear Blaine come into the room and I shut the shower off. It takes a few minutes to step out of the shower and wrap a towel around me. Blaine waits on the edge of one of the beds stripped down to his boxer briefs. The weight of the world evident on his tear-stained face.
“Come here, Ed.” He opens his arms and I fold myself into them on his lap. “Matt told me he’s not letting them spend more than a day in temporary placement. He’s going to keep trying to get ahold of the Bradfords.” That has to be good enough. Tell that to the raging anxiety flowing through my body. “He’s feeling guilty as fuck for seeing Peterson the other day.”
“There’s no way he could have known she was in danger or… that she’d hurt herself.” The more I think about it, the less likely it seems that she’d take her life. She had two tiny children depending on her, and the babysitter’s family were shocked because she always appeared happy.
“Stop snapping that rubber band.” Blaine slips it off my wrist. “Eden, I have to tell you something, okay?” He grimaces and pulls back slightly. “Uhh… I… okay, I would nev-” Blaine starts to say, but he’s interrupted by a knock at the door. “Hold on.” He gets up and pulls on a pair of sweats to grab the door.
Matt follows him into the room. He’s carrying a pizza box with a six pack of soda on top. “I don’t feel like being alone. Is this, okay?” I get up and take the pizza box from him and lay it on the table in the room.
“I need you.” I wrap my hands around his waist. “Just hold me.” Matt lifts me up and embraces me close to his chest. I can feel his racing heart and I wrap my legs around his waist. I take for granted his strength and ability to ‘fix’ things. This must be hard for him, too. It would affect anyone, but I’m familiar with guilt over the loss of someone. A person doesn’t need to be close, like Embry was to me, to feel like you could be at fault over their passing.
Clicking the television on, for random noise, Blaine settles on South Park and kicks his feet up on the end of the bed, while sitting at the table picking pepperoni off his slice of pizza. Matt sits on the end of the bed, still holding me, while he catches a soda can Blaine throws his way. Words escape all of us. I manage four bites of the greasy pizza, before tossing it. The soft drink is overly sweet. I realize I’m too riddled with nervous energy to sit still, eat, or sleep.
Blaine must sense my pent-up feeling. He sits next to Matt on the bed and starts to rub my back. “Does that feel good?” he whispers in my ear. The tightening in my chest eases as his hand continues to massage. The picked at pizza is abandoned, while the three of us get comfortable on the bed, both wrapped tightly around my towel clad body. I don’t know if their minds are plagued by what happened on this trip, but mine is screaming for some distraction or escape. Lazy kisses, and roaming hands bring me back to the here and now, but I’m exhausted.
Waking up, I’m sweaty cocooned in between Matt and Blaine’s bodies. At some point one of them turned the television off and straightened up. Who am I kidding? It was Matt. Blaine wouldn’t have bothered. My elbow smacks Blaine in the face, when I realize that the reason I woke up could have been the dark form standing at the end of the bed staring down at the three of us. “Oh, my Gaaww...” Both Matt and Blaine startle awake, and once I can focus, I realize that the figure is Hutton. Matt switches the lamp over the bed on. “What the fuck? How did you get in here?”
Caleb steps further into the room. “He paid the front desk clerk a couple of thousand dollars for a key card to the room Eden was in.” Caleb looks nervous and he’s holding a large black backpack. Hutton still hasn’t spoken, but I notice that something is moving under his shirt. I wonder if my eyes are seeing things.
“What’s that?” I ask pointing to the lump moving around under his dark t-shirt and black hoody.
He reaches a hand under the shirt and pulls out a gray cat. It’s on the mangy side. “This is Achilles,” he says it like that makes sense.
“Uhh… we didn’t want to wake you guys, but Hutton wants to talk. To Matt… umm, well, after we get the cat settled in.” He addresses the last part of that statement at Hutton. “I’m not sure that you can have pets here.” Am I having some strange dream? I must have drifted off to sleep earlier, but all my dreams lately have been odd combinations of some hospital with Hutton or crying and begging for someone with a scratchy voice to leave Keir alone.
Matt groans and rubs his face, when he looks at the alarm clock he says, “You’ve gotta be kidding me, it’s two in the morning.” He eases himself away from me to get up. “I never pegged you as the type to have a pet.”
Caleb reaches for the cat who snarls at him. Hutton pets the cat’s back, and he settles down. “He doesn’t like anyone, but Hutton.” He indicates the cat scratches on his arms. “I looked the cat over and he might have worms, so we picked up some supplies for him.” Shaking the backpack, he pulls out a small bag of litter and a pan. “We’ll get him set up and come back.”
My mind flashes to a much smaller gray kitten and a younger Hutton. Deep laughter as the kitten butts at my face. What was that? I gasp and lean forward. Why is my mind making things up? Hutton slightly tilts his head and says, “Do you remember?” The tone of his voice is vulnerable and quiet. Unlike the Hutton, I’ve come to think of as unfeeling and scary.
“Remember?” I struggle to find words. This must be a dream.
Blaine quips from behind me, “Yeah… makes sense, the aggressive intolerance coupled with your relentless self-interest. Of course, you’re a cat person.”
I look down at the towel that I tucked around me and in the course of sleep it’s come mostly undone. I’m not exactly embarrassed, but I redo it. Hutton staring me down. How long did he stand over us, watching me? A chill goes down my spine. I’m blaming my ramped-up anxiety for the strange dreams.
Matt tells Hutton to make the cat set up quick, because I can tell he’s afraid Hutton will change his mind. “Maybe he’s ready to trust me. Finally.” I sag back onto the bed next to Blaine, who runs his hand up and down the exposed part of my left leg. The sensation waking up my sex drive. I turn to look into his handsome face and bite at my lip. “I know how we could pass the time.” Shoving all the invading thoughts away, I focus on him. When I turn to Matt, he looks torn. “How we… all… can pass the time.” Matt takes my hand pulling me up and out of the bed. He gently undoes the towel, so it falls to the floor. Completely exposed to them both, their eyes take me in and seductively enthrall me. Matt undresses, while Blaine slides his boxer briefs off. “The deadbolt…” My words get swallowed up in Matt’s mouth. I don’t want anyone with a bribed keycard wandering in, but the thoughts are shut down.
Blaine demands, “Bring her here.” Matt picks me up and places me on the bed next to Blaine who runs his hand up my torso, fondling my breast, he leans in to suck my nipple into his mouth. I can’t help the heady moan that escapes me as I fumble to touch both Matt and Blaine’s dicks. “Are you ready to be fucked by us?” His tone has a touch of teasing.
“Talk less,” Matt says breathlessly next to me on the other side as he covers Blaine’s mouth. “Let me enjoy her noises.” I’ve managed to get ahold of his impressive length and as I stroke it, Blaine’s dick brushes my leg. He’s still giving my breast attention and I want him to slide up. I can’t find the words while I’m panting and turned on this much.
“Oh… goo… Oh, fuck.” Matt jerks slightly as I bring him to orgasm with my hand, his cum coating my side. Blaine smears it across my abdomen and then licks his fingers. That image is going in my lady spank bank. Blaine turns his attention back to my chest and moves to the nipple on the other side closer to Matt. He shifts his body half onto mine and I wiggle trying to get him closer to my core. Matt runs his hand over Blaine’s ass and pulls him onto me further. I arch upwards to get some friction against his body, but Blaine only laughs briefly, “I don’t think you’re quite ready yet…” Back to teasing. He nips at my lower lip. Matt stands to grab something from the pocket of his wallet. He slides a condom on, and Blaine looks over and winks. “Lube is in my suitcase… with a few other fun things.” I’m almost delirious in anticipation.
“B… please, please…” I lean up a bit and chase his mouth. “I want you so damn much.” There is an ache that needs quenching. I watch Matt grab the lube and climb back onto the bed. His dick hard again and bobbing as he moves. He lays back next to me and licks at my earlobe.
“Tell me what you want,” Matt whispers in my ear. He has some lube on his fingers and his hand slides to my backside, where Blaine has turned me to give Matt better access. The lube is warm, and he glides it over my asshole and sticks a couple fingers in an inch.
