Oddly enough, I understand what he means. “Not one bit.” I shake my head vehemently.
“Does Josh know that you’re sick?”
I shake my head again. “No. Not at all, and I don’t want anyone else to know. Please.”
A light rain has started. Rippley gets out and races around the front of the car, pulling my door open. He takes a suit jacket from his back seat to hold over my head. “Let me walk you to your dorm.”
My feeble attempt to decline his offer is barely noticed as we walk at a fast pace toward the towering brick building in the distance. The spicy scent of his cologne from the liner of his suit jacket reminds of something… just beyond the edges of my mind. I’ve smelled it before. Not just in passing.
Once inside the entryway, I offer a pained smile. “Thanks… for listening… for,” I throw my hands up, “keeping my secret.”
He shakes the jacket out, then uses one muscular arm to encircle me lightly in a hug. “You don’t need to thank me. No one ever confides in me. It feels… nice... that you did. Your secret is safe with me. I promise.”
We move out of the way of a group of students going out for the night. My face heats as the girls glance back longingly at Rippley.
I get it. The more time I spend around him, the more I notice… the self-deprecating charm, the way his smile lights up his entire face, the way his eyes convey a sense of interest… intensity.
He looks down at me, his brows furrowed., “I don’t think you should be alone right now.”
No. Probably not, but I’ve spent the entire walk from his fancy car kicking myself for trauma dumping on him. I certainly can’t hold him hostage with my problems. “I’ll be okay. I just need to get some sleep.” Tears pool in my eyes.
Unfortunately, he must read cues better than most guys. “Nah. I can’t leave you alone after the news you got today. Trust me… I can crash out on the floor.”
“Rippley, I ca-”
“Rip… and if it makes you uncomfortable to have me in your room since we’re just getting to know each other, I’ll hang out in the hallway in case you need me.”
That thought hadn’t occurred to me. One more sign that I’m not thinking clearly. He knows JJ… he’s been more than kind…
Quietly I respond, “You don’t have to stay in the hallway.”
My expectations that Rip would find my single dorm room unfitting or horrifying were unnecessary. He seems unfazed by the flickering fluorescent overhead light, my twin bed with beige covers, or my bare off-white walls.
Generic.
My personality tucked away in my desk drawers.
“You really don’t have to do this,” I say once more when I come back from the bathroom in my strawberry-print pajamas. “I’m not flinging myself from a window tonight.” My attempt at humor earns a half smile from him.
“Noted.” He drapes his suit jacket over my desk chair and sits on the corner of the desk. Clearing his throat, he adds “I shouldn’t have snooped but I saw this.” He picks up the drawing I did yesterday and holds it up. “Is it yours? Did you do this?”
I’d been reliving one of my hallucinations… memories? A stream spilling over an outcropping of rocks, my mystery guy standing next to it with his hands over his heart, a fluffy dog rolled onto its back beside him. For the first time in a long time, I wanted to sketch. To put the memory on paper.
Nodding, I sigh. “I’m a little rusty. It’s been a while since I’ve drawn anything.” I take the picture and tuck it into a drawer face down, embarrassed that Rip saw it. It feels wrong that I’m having these memories.
He opens his mouth, then closes it slowly without saying what he was going to say. His hand drags over his face.
Rip settles on the floor with my comforter and a spare pillow. He shows me videos of pandas until I’m laughing so hard my side hurts. “I can see why they were going extinct. Big, furry toddlers,” Rip says through a laugh as we watch one flip backward out of a big circular swing. “Look at the keeper. He's sitting in the corner, shaking his head in disbelief.”
Yawning, I tuck my pillow tight under my head. “Thank you… I never would’ve asked you to stay, but I’m glad you’re here. I just needed a break from thinking about it.”
He smiles sadly as he shuts off his phone and sets it on my desk. “How could I go after you told me your secret?” Moving to lie back with his head resting on his folded arms, he continues quietly, “Sometimes I feel like an afterthought. The last person to know anything.”
I answer just as softly, “I relate to that on a deep, personal level.”
Chapter Eight
Hart
