I turn to face Chaos when I hear his voice close behind me and see him holding his crash helmet.
“What about you?”
“I'm good.”
He gently kisses my forehead before sliding his headgear over my head, visor still up, then peers into my eyes through it with a smirk before pushing it down and holding my hand in his. He takes me toward his bike before turning to face me once we are beside it and I draw a deep breath as he effortlessly lifts me by the waist and sets me on the back of the seat.
When he climbs on in front of me, I shift closer to him, tightly wrapping my arms around his waist, and he cranks the bike witha roar. As he kicks the stand and pushes the bike back a few steps, he glances at me and shouts over the loud engine.
“Ready?”
In response, I stroke his abs with my palm, and he eventually pulls away. He rides at a trustworthy pace toward the water, and as we get close to the brink, he follows the shoreline.
I feel strangely serene, which makes me realize there is not any more room for fear in my life. I have experienced every type of terror conceivable, and yet I am still here, doing this with Chaos and fighting against all my past apprehensions.
As soon as he increases the speed significantly, I find myself giggling while he swerves in and out of the waves crashing beneath us, forcing water and sand to splash up on our legs, making us even more soaked than the heavy rain has already made us.
After a while of feeling utterly thrilled and my heart racing just as Chaos said, I find myself releasing my hold on him and bringing my hands in front of me. I feel him slow down instantly, and he gives me a few sideways glances as I remove his helmet from my head.
When he comes to a complete stop, he turns to gaze back at me while I close my eyes and tilt my head back, allowing the rain to pour on my dry face. I feel him remove the helmet from my hands and I elevate my head, opening my eyes to watch him place it down on the sand.
As soon as he jolts forward at high speed, I scream and wrap my arms tightly around him once again, eliciting a chuckle from him. He zooms up the shoreline with untamed movements, and I find myself laughing and screaming so much that my ribs ache.When I regain my confidence, I draw back, the wind and rain whipping my long hair over my shoulders, and I raise my arms above me, my head thrown back. In this moment, I finally feel fearless and brave, which I relish every second of.
We whiz up and down the coast for a while, laughing, until it is almost dark, and lightning starts to flash and crackle across the bleak sky. Chaos slows down, retrieves his helmet from the sand, and then takes us back to his truck.
As we come to a halt beside it, I hop off the moment he kicks the bike’s stand out. We both face each other, soaked and we laugh as our eyes inspect one another. He closes the gap, rests his palms on my face, tilts my head back and I clasp my hands around his wrists.
“It's good to see you smiling and laughing, beautiful.”
When he prepares to kiss my forehead again, I tilt my head back further, allowing his lips to come into close contact with mine. He pauses as we peer into each other's eyes, attempting to read one another’s thoughts while rain drips down our faces. When he moves his nose gently over mine, my eyes flutter shut and our lips only lightly touch, but the small contact sends shockwaves of sensations through me, but only in a good way.
“I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to go back just yet.”
As I murmur the words into his mouth, I slowly open my heavy eyes, which immediately meet his and he draws back to get a better look at my face, swiping his thumbs across my wet, cold cheeks before releasing me and then making a head gesture toward the back of the truck.
“Get in the back. We can chill and watch the storm for a bit if you want.”
I give a small nod in agreement and as he pushes his bike to the rear of the truck, I open the back door and climb inside. My clothing is heavy with rainfall, so I kick off my Converse and hoist my soaked hoodie over my head, leaving me in only my black bra and jeans.
I throw a warm, thick blanket around me just as Chaos enters beside me and shuts the door. I observe his every movement as he raises his arm above his head and grabs the back of his drenched black tank top, tugging it up and over his head, revealing his inked, bare torso.
While raking his fingers through his wet, disheveled hair, his brown eyes connect with mine, and he offers me a small, handsome smile. I remain expressionless as I approach him, and he stays immobile while letting me climb onto him, keeping his hands away from my body. I perch on his lap sideways and curl up against his chest, with my head nestled beneath his chin, allowing his warmth to embrace me.
He waits patiently for a moment, as I have not done anything like this with him in a long time unless I am having a breakdown and he cuddles me until I've calmed down, but I feel driven to do so after how much happiness he gave me today. As soon as I stop fumbling to get comfortable, he brings his strong arms around me and sets his lips on the top of my head. While hearing the rain crash down on the truck, he speaks into my hair.
“I'm proud of you, Lil Chaos. You fucking smashed it today, and I see you have overcome so much.”
As I peer forward, tears fill up in my eyes from his words, stinging them, and I whisper.
“Sometimes I worry I will never be the same person again.”
He draws me closer, and I shut my eyes from the comfort and safety net he provides.
“Maybe not, but whoever you are becoming will be even stronger and there's nothing wrong with strength. What we go through, we grow through.”
“He took so much from me; I'm not sure what strength is anymore.”
When I notice him dipping his head to look at my face, I raise my wet eyes to meet his, and he scans them.
