“Listen to me very fucking carefully, Ana. We are all going through it with Chaos dead, and I have always had respect for you, but I’d be incredibly careful who you are threatening like that!”
“But I—”
“No! Swan is still who she is, and you are not the only one at a fucking loss because of this fucked up situation. She is not the cause of your husband killing his own son. You better hope to God she does not take her crown and kill you for the parts you willingly played in destroying her and your Chaos.”
I bring my face close to hers, biting on my words.
“If I have my way, she will rule beside me, just as Chaos would have wanted because he fucking loved her. Just as much as I do.”
On the way back to the mansion, I rest my head against the car door, allowing my tears to flow freely, knowing what I need to do next, even though it's incredibly difficult. I cannot stay here any longer, I cannot stand being here. My presence isn't strong enough because I'm not strong enough.
I cannot help fix Reign when I cannot even fix myself. Darkness surrounds me. I have fallen into its deepest depths, and I am unable to crawl myself out of it. I need to remove myself from this environment, where every corner reminds me of the heartache that surrounds me, a heartache that I blame myself for.
As soon as we pull up outside, I get out of the car and hurry into the mansion. I glance around, sobbing as I make my way up the stairs. I walk down the corridor, my despair mounting with each step I take before I stop outside of Chaos's bedroom door. I rest my forehead against it, placing my shaky hand on the handle and when I gather my courage, I press down.
I enter the dimly lit room, looking around, his scent engulfing me—a smell that I miss so damn much. Everything remains exactly as he left it, a painful reminder of his absence, yet I want to take something with me that reminds me of him.
I approach his bed, my eyes landing on his favorite hoodie laid out. With a trembling hand, I lift it, holding it close to my chest. I bury my face in the fabric, clinging to it as if it is the last connection I have to him. The weight of my grief becomes unbearable, and I collapse onto his bed, sobbing uncontrollably.
“I am so sorry, Chaos. I tried. I really did, but deep down I know you wouldn’t have wanted this. It is not safe for us here.”
I sit there for what feels like an eternity, allowing my tears to continuously flow, anything to relieve myself of the pain my heart feels. By the time I am finished, his hoodie is drenched in my tears, and I peel it away from my face. A sickly feeling settles in my stomach, reminding me that it is now time to leave, and I stand. Once I am at the doorway, I take one last watery glance around, soaking in every cherished moment we shared together in here as if my life depends on it before I close the door behind me.
With a shot of determination flowing through me, I make my way to Reign's bedroom. When I enter, I go toward his wardrobe, grabbing my things and packing a bag. As soon as I am done and ready to get out of here, I throw it over my shoulder, but as I turn around, Reign is standing in the doorway. My gut sinks, hoping I wouldn’t have to face him and just call him when I get to where I was going.
I avoid eye contact as I head in his direction, hoping he will move out of my way, but he doesn’t, he simply places his huge arm on the frame to stop me. I come to a halt, taking a step back and my eyes meet his.
“Move Reign.”
When he takes a step forward, I am compelled to takeone back.
“You’re leaving me?”
As he comes to a stop, I do as well, lowering my eyes.
“Yes.”
He stands taller, his big chest expanding while inhaling deeply, pressing his hands in his tight black pants.
“On the day of Chaos’s funeral?”
My eyes close, guilt smacking me in the face like an unbearable force and he continues.
“I lost him and now I have to fucking lose you as well?”
I feel defensiveness spiking within me, and I lift my eyes to his, a glare in them.
“Do not do that bullshit to me. You will be better off without me.”
I go to pass him once again, but he merely steps in my path and I halt.
“Charley you are not fucking leaving, after everything, you still—”
“Yes! Yes, I do still want to leave!”
I scream at him, letting him know exactly how I feel.
“If anything, I want to leave more than ever. I thought I could stay! I thought I could help you, but I can’t! I cannot even help myself, Reign! I fucking hate it here!”
