“Go on,” he says quietly.
“Anyway, so Elena couldn’t do much—she had to be careful because of her heart. Her life, as you can imagine, wasn’t very daring.” I reach for the purse hanging by my side and pull it into my lap, unlatching the magnetic button and opening the flap. I slip my hand inside and find the piece of paper I’m looking for and pull it out. “So she made me this list, before she passed, of things she always wanted to do but couldn’t. And she asked me to do them for her. I’ve never told anyone about it.”
Jay reaches for the piece of paper but stops short. “Can I see it?”
I hand it to him, and he unlinks his hand from mine and opens the paper.
“That’s quite the list,” he says after he’s read it. He points to the paper. “Did she really think you would go bungee jumping?”
I laugh because I hate the thickness in the air that has landed on our conversation, and also because for as little time as Jay has known me, he actually has me pretty figured out.
“Sometimes I wonder if she made the list to spite me,” I say, and then bite the inside of my cheek. “She was pretty hilarious, actually.”
“I bet she was,” he says, folding the paper up and handing it back to me. I tuck it in my purse. “So that’s why you were attempting the Empire State Building,” he says, nodding his head, his face registering the truth.
“Yep,” I say. “And also why I felt like I failed when I couldn’t do it.” I look down at my hands twiddling nervously in my lap.
“Wow, I’m sorry,” he says, wholeheartedly. “I feel bad.”
“Yeah, most people do when I talk about Elena,” I say, my shoulders lifting in a brief shrug.
“No—I mean yes—I’m sorry about your sister, but I feel bad that your secret was so ... uh, deep,” he says.
“I thought that was the point,” I say, eyeing him suspiciously.
“Well, maybe, but my secret that I was going to tell you was that I tell everyone I’m allergic to coconut, but the truth is, I just hate it.”
“What?” I slap him on the arm—harder than I mean to. “That’s it? That’s your secret no one else knows? Who even cares whether you like coconut!”
“My bad,” he says, hands up, palms facing toward me, his mouth trying desperately not to break into a smile. I must be giving him my most incredulous look. Because that’s how I feel: incredulous and pissed and totally duped. But at the same time, I can feel a giggle bubbling up inside of me. Jay does weird things to me.
“You know,” I say, slapping him on the arm again for good measure. “I think I’ve just become a serial killer on Saturdays.”
I must have said this loudly, because suddenly there are quite of few pairs of eyes on us.
“She’s kidding,” Jay says to our crowd of onlookers, but then turns to me and under his breath says, “You are kidding, right?”
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” I say, trying to keep the smile that’s dying to break across my face from coming out. No such luck.
Jay laughs when he sees me smile and then grabs my hand and pulls me to standing.
“Come on,” he says. “We’ve got more to see.”
After that, the feeling in the air is much lighter. And fun. I like it. It’s been so long since I did something fun for myself. We walk along the path, taking in everything around us and talking. He asks a lot of questions about Elena, and it feels good to talk about her, almost cathartic.
“So what else besides work do you have planned for London?” I ask as we walk. The tall grassedging the sides of the trail moves softly with the late-afternoon breeze.
“I have to mostly work, but I plan to take a day or two to do other things,” he says.
“Touristy things?”
“Well, yes, but I’m also there to help with a foundation I’m involved in,” he says.
“A foundation?More information, please.”
He chuckles at my demanding tone. “I work with a foundation that supplies hearing aids for children that are born with hearing loss. Their headquarters are in London.”
I turn my head to see his face. His eyes are forward and he looks pensive. Or maybe shy. Like this is information he doesn’t go telling everyone about.
