“It was,” I agreed. “Getting to play with that team would be one of the highest honors. A year ago, I would’ve already been on a plane, no hesitation.”
“Then what…?”
Her pulse fluttered beneath my thumb, and I brushed back and forth over it. “My brothers pointed out a lot of things to me, the first being I haven’t signed the contract. I would’ve chalked that up to me holding out hope you’d change your mind aboutcoming with me, but if I’d really intended on going no matter what, why hadn’t I signed it? I had to really sit and think about it.”
“What did you come up with?”
I let out a breath that felt too big for my chest. “Roman said something to me I couldn’t get out of my head.”
Mazzy blinked up at me, waiting, so patient, I still wasn’t sure I deserved her. But, by god, would I do the work until I did.
“He told me my career is going to come to an end, no matter what,” I said quietly. “But I’m luckier than he was, and I get to choose what mine looks like. I can choose how I walk away from rugby. I can choose the final chapter. He asked me if I wanted that chapter to be me, alone, in a country on the other side of the world. Pretending I’m living the dream, while my entire life is back here.”
Her lips parted, breath catching.
I swallowed hard. “The thing is, playing without the people I love standing beside me wouldn’t feel like a triumph. It would feel hollow.”
I touched her cheek, brushing my thumb along the dampness gathering there. “And he was right, baby. I’ve been chasing rugby my whole life. I’ve loved it. Bled for it. But recently, my priorities shifted. I didn’t even realize how much until I thought about what Roman said.”
I leaned in, my forehead touching hers, needing her to hear me. “Being Katty’s dad is the greatest honor I could ever have. And being your man?” My throat thickened, and every word I pushed out was wobbly. “That’s everything, Mazz. That’s the dream. That’s the life I didn’t think I’d ever get.”
A tear rolled down her cheek, and I wiped it away with my thumb, the backs of my own eyes burning.
“I can’t walk away from that,” I whispered. “I won’t. Not even for the Warriors.”
Her breath hitched. “Ben…”
“I’m choosing you,” I said, firm and steady. “I’m choosing our family. That’s my ending. That’s the story I want. And leaving you two behind? That’s not even on the table. Not anymore.”
She broke, a soft, relieved sob spilling from her, and I pulled her against my chest, holding her for all the days I’d missed having her in my arms.
“Are you really sure?” she asked. “I don’t want you to regret this.Pleasedon’t regret it. I’ll be by your side no matter what.”
I kissed her temple then trailed my lips down the side of her face. “I love you for being willing to try, baby. I appreciate it more than words can say. But I’m sure. My agent is already preparing a contract with the Mountain Lions for my final season. It’s gonna be amazing.”
She tipped her head back, giving me her wet, beautiful eyes. “You’re going to retire?”
“Mmmhmm. One more epic season, then I’m walking away. And I’m not scared. Well…okay, I’m somewhat scared. I’ll have the rest of my life to figure out, and that feels…bigger than I’m willing to contemplate at the moment.”
Her laugh was like music to my ears. “Me too, if I’m being honest.”
“Yeah…I think you’ve got it more figured out than you give yourself credit for.” I touched my lips to hers. “You’re at the beginning of something great, baby. It’s going to be your time to shine. I’ve had all these years to chase my dream down the pitch. It’s my time to support you chasing yours.”
Her breath stuttered. “But…youarerugby.”
“Try again, baby.” I kissed her once more. “Iplayrugby. IamKateryna’s dad, and your future husband. Hopefully.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. “Don’t propose to me right now.”
I barked a laugh. “Did you think that was a proposal? Nope. That was just a statement of fact. When I propose, you’ll know, and you’ll be excited about it.”
Her eyes flashed open, much less panicked. A teasing smirk played on her lips, and I knew we’d be okay. “You think?”
“I know.” Now that we had that settled, I had a few more things I needed to tell her. “I’m sorry I shut down on you, Mazz. I didn’t know how to deal—and since we’re putting it all on the table, I can’t say I’ve got it all figured out. My mom being here is a mindfuck of massive proportions.”
“I know. I can only imagine.”
“I think—” I shook my head. “No, I know I can be real with you. I know you’re a safe place for me. I forgot for a minute there, and running felt a whole hell of a lot easier than dealing, but I’m standing still now. Will you stand with me and help me work through this?”
