“And we need to burn.” Kirin rubs his chest, his eyes glazing with remembered pain. “So this is his way of getting us to atone.”
“Somehow he’s getting into our heads, rooting around for all the stuff we hate most about ourselves. He wants us to relive and re-experience our most soul-crushing guilt. To let it consume us. Tear us apart.”
“If that’s his big strategy,” Kirin says, “I can tell you right now, it’s not going to happen. You, me, Baz… We’re in this together. As long as that holds true, we can face whatever demons we…” His words trail off, some new realization making his mouth go slack.
I gasp and we lock eyes, and in that instant I know we’re both thinking the same thing.
We’renottogether. That’s the problem. We don’t even know where Baz is.
Kirin and I just went through hell, and we had each other for support. Baz is completely alone here. I can’t even imagine what he’s facing. With everything he endured as a kid—witnessing his brother burn another mage alive, sending that same brother to prison, being abandoned by his parents, living with the asshole Kirkpatricks—I have no doubts Judgment will find plenty of fertile ground in Baz’s nightmares.
And that’s just the stuff hetoldme about. Every time I look into his eyes I catch a glimpse of another ghost, too many to talk about, too many to count, and—though I suspect he’s been trying for a long time—too many to outrun.
Judgment floats into my mind again, his cruel laugh, his wooden staff on fire as he slams it into Baz’s chest…
Goddess, he’s going to make Baz’s memory his own demonic playground. And by the time we see our friend again, he won’t even remember us. Won’t even remember how loved he truly was…
“Baz has so many skeletons,” I whisper, my throat tight with emotion. “Facing them alone is…” I let out a heavy sigh, not sure how to finish that thought.
Kirin does it for me, the look in his eyes matching the terror thumping through my heart. “A death sentence, Stevie. We need to find him. Now.”
Thirteen
STEVIE
It’s snowing.
In the middle of the desert.
“Something tells me we’re getting close.” I slow the pace as we come up over a rocky rise, taking in the vista ahead of us. Labored from our sprint, our breath comes out in thick white puffs.
“Wow,” Kirin says. “If it weren’t so completely creepy, it might actually be breathtaking.”
The world before us is nestled in a thick, white blanket of snow, the stone spires encased in ice. Snowflakes continue to fall wet and heavy on our heads and shoulders, but despite the newly freezing temperature, I don’t feel cold.
“There. Just before that next rise.” I point to a structure rising up from the ground, its sharply-angled roof completely out of place in the rocky desert.
“Is that…” Kirin narrows his eyes. “Is that a house?”
“Let’s go check it out.”
Holding hands, we make our way down the icy slope and beyond, gaping at the house coming into view before us. It’s not just a house, but a huge Victorian manor, dark gray with white trim and ornate turrets, the entire property surrounded by a wrought iron fence. Just like our winter wonderland, the stately home would probably be breathtaking in another context. Here in the desert of dreams, it’s just plain creepy.
Goosebumps that have nothing to do with the cold raise on my arms.
“Do you think Baz is in there?” Kirin whispers.
I wrap my hands around the frigid iron fence and close my eyes, reaching out for a hint of humanity.
It hits me all at once, the pull of his energy so fierce I nearly stumble.
“It’s him!” I gasp, tears of relief burning my eyes. “But it’s… Something’s wrong. It’s like he’s…” I close my eyes and tighten my hold, trying to tap deeper into the feeling. Almost immediately my stomach knots up, my mouth filling with the taste of bile. It’s all I can do to control my trembling muscles. I seriously feel like I might pee myself.
But none of this frenetic energy is mine. It’s all Baz.
“He’s fucking terrified,” I whisper.And deeply ashamed, I think, though I keep that bit to myself. I have no idea what we’ll find in there—only that Baz doesn’t want us to find it at all.
“We have to help him,” Kirin says, already wrenching open the front gate. We’re about to head in when something catches my eye—soft light flooding one of the upstairs windows, shadows moving behind the curtains. Before I can get a better look, the room fades into darkness once more.
