The two co-conspirators look at me expectantly.
I crack up, already climbing out of bed and heading for the shower. “Oh, like I’m gonna say no tothislittle science project?”
Fucking hell, I just came harder than I’ve ever come in my life, and I’m already hard again.
They follow me to the bathroom and the three of us hop into a steaming shower, where Kirin and I fight the good fight over who gets to thoroughly soap up our girl.
In the end, we decide—once again—to share.
“For research purposes,” he repeats, nodding like he’s still trying to convince himself of his pure motives.
Sliding my hand up to cup her slick, sudsy breast, I grin, knowing Ani—and even Cass, though he’d never admit it—would approve. “For research purposes.”
Eleven
KIRIN
“You look… bewildered.” Casey smirks as I enter the kitchen, then hands over the mug of coffee she just poured for herself. “You need this more than I do.”
“Yeah, I just… couldn’t sleep.” Gladly taking the offered brew, I duck her gaze, my cheeks burning at the insinuation. No matter. I suppose it’s obvious what I’ve been up to tonight—I couldn’t keep this grin in check if my life depended on it.
“Can’t imagine why.” Casey rolls her eyes, but she’s still smiling at me, warm and playful despite how exhausted she must be.
She’s been hard at work all night, her tablet, phone, and notes spread all over the kitchen table. Her partner is passed out on the living room couch. Everyone else seems to have gone to bed, which is probably for the best. We’ve all got a big day ahead. Ordays,maybe. I have no idea how long this battle will take—how many days and nights we’ll be away from home, away from one another, away from any sense of normalcy.
If we’ll ever get that back.
Don’t think like that…
I take a seat at the table and sip the coffee, wincing at its knockout strength. “Damn, Case. I see you’re still drinking the high-octane stuff.”
“You know me,” she says, pouring herself a fresh cup from the pot. “I like my coffee how I like my soul.”
“Dark and damned,” we say in unison, then crack up.
The memories come back easily, always swimming just below the surface—Mom in the kitchen, playfully scolding Casey and me over the pre-teen coffee habit we’d picked up. She used to tell us the caffeine would destroy our youthful souls and turn us into heathens. She was joking, but—as it turns out—not entirely wrong.
One memory unlocks another, and soon images of my old life flood my mind—my siblings, our childhood home, the love and the laughter that came before the destruction…
No. I can’t go there. Not tonight.
I force out the last memory with another sip of bitter coffee, patching up the dam before it crumbles completely.
Nostalgia is a dangerous drug.
“On second thought…” Casey sits across from me, her green eyes softening in the glow of her laptop screen. “You look bewilderedandhappy.”
I shift uncomfortably under her scrutiny, but she doesn’t seem to be instigating a fight tonight.
Still, a ribbon of guilt unfurls in my gut. “Seems wrong, doesn’t it?”
“Being happy?”
“Considering what we’re up against—and everything that’s happened already…” I glance at the notes spread between us—frantic scribbles about the Soldiers of Light and Eastman’s diabolical plans, circles and arrows and underlines on words likeblack magickandcult. “I don’t know, Case. The whole world’s going to hell, and my heart is shattered over everything we’ve already lost, yet somehow when I’m with Stevie…Goddess, even when I’m just thinking about her or someone says her name or I find one of her hair clips on the bathroom sink… I can’t help it. Suddenly I’m a smiling, grinning, happy-ass idiot.”
“You’realive. Stevie reminds you of that.” She sips her coffee, gaze darting quickly to Agent Quintana, then back to me. Lowering her voice, she says, “Finding joy in the midst of pain isn’t a bad thing, Kirin. If more of us could do that, humanity would be in a much better place.”
“I told her,” I blurt out suddenly, the words escaping before I’ve even thought them through. “I mean, Stevie’s the only person I’ve ever talked to about… The only one I’ve told… everything.”
