“I can’t. It’s… it’s a special conditioner that I have to use or my hair gets dry and brittle, and then it gets all frizzy and I can’t do anything with it because it’s naturally curly and the dry winter air makes everything worse, especially at altitude, and—”
“For fuck’s sake, woman! Are you always this fucking annoying, or only on special occasions?”
She didn’t answer.
I scrubbed a hand over my jaw, guilt needling my insides.Might as well put my balls in a jar and hand ‘em right over.
“Fine. What do you need, Maddie?”
Her sigh of relief was audible, even over the sound of the water. “Thank you! Okay, in the car there’s an attaché case, a roll-aboard, a personal carry-on, and a shoulder bag. I need the attaché. Wait, no—sorry. It’s in the shoulder bag.”
“You sure?”
“Yep. Shoulder bag. Definitely. The car keys are still in my coat pocket. Well,yourcoat pocket. Thanks again for—”
“I’ll be right back. Sit tight.”
“Yes sir,” she quipped, and fuck ifthatdidn’t send my mind spiraling in all the wrong directions…
Ignoring the deep ache pulsating through my cock, I pulled the door shut and set out to fetching her shit.
***
Outside, the wind had only gotten more brutal, clawing at my face and hands as I stomped down to the end of the driveway. The car was piled high with fresh snow and a thin coating of ice—took me about ten minutes of scraping before I could even pop the damn trunk. Inside, I found three bags and a big, puffy coat the color of bubblegum. Another bag rested on the back seat.
What the fuck was the difference between a roll-aboard and an attaché case, anyway? Which one was the carry-on? Wait, no, it was the shoulder bag she’d asked for, right? Wasn’t that the same thing as a purse? Fuck, they all looked exactly the same to me. I was five seconds from Hulk-smashing every damn one of them, along with the car and whatever bad Christmas mojo had brought this crazy-ass girl careening into my driveway in the first place.
Instead, I grabbed the coat and all four bags and tromped back up the driveway into the cabin, wondering how the fuck it was possible for a man to become pussy-whipped without getting any actual pussy.
Fucking hell.
I hauled the bags upstairs and knocked on the bathroom door like the good little man-servant I apparently was. “I couldn’t tell them apart, so I brought them all.”
“Come in,” she said. “I can’t hear you.”
I opened the door and stuck my head in, not trusting myself to go any further than that without stripping out of my clothes and joining her, invitation or not. “I don’t know which bag is which, so I brought them all.”
“The shoulder bag is the small squishy one with the thick strap,” she said. “Inside, there should be a smaller toiletry bag.”
Bag inside of a bag. Right.
Why did chicks always cart around so much shit?
I tried to imagine her on assignment in some BFE shithole, traipsing up the side of a mountain with her unit. She’d need a herd of mules just to transport all this crap. It weighed more than she did.
Digging through the bag, I said, “I see a leopard-looking thing, a clear thing with more clear things inside, and a green thing with a black zipper.”
“It’s the green one,” she said. “Just leave it on the counter for me.”
“I’m standing right here, Maddie. I’ll pass you the damn conditioner. Just tell me what it looks like. A bottle? A tube? A—”
“Don’t! I mean, it’s fine.” She popped her head out from behind the curtain again, her skin glowing pink. She looked so fresh-faced and innocent, I felt like I was corrupting her just by being in the same room as that pure, naked flesh. “Please just leave it, Hawke. I’ll take care of it.”
“Whatever.” I dropped the bag on the counter, torn between wanting to throttle her and wishing like hell she’d ask for help soaping up after all.
If things kept on like this, I’d have blue balls until New Year’s.
Assuming I stillhadballs.
“Hawke?” She poked her face out one last time, her smile genuine, making something in my chest twist. “Thank you. That was really sweet of you.”
I nodded, all the air leaking out of my lungs. “Anytime, Cupcake.”
Guess we solvedthatfucking mystery, you pansy-ass, no-balls-havin’ pussy.
