“How many times have you done something like that?”
He took a second to ballpark it. “Like that? Only a few.”
“A few? Tell me what other things you’ve done. What other…mischiefyou’ve been involved in?”
But instead of telling me the truth, that wistful smile crept onto his face again and he stayed silent.
He was scared of something. Scared that if I knew the extent of it all, everything would change between us.
“Don’t take this the way that, you know, all men take it, but…sleep on the bed tonight?” I averted my gaze, my throat on fire from the words. “Just sleep. The couch’s too small and you’re very tall and maybe it’ll be more comfortable.”
I exhaled after I vomited all my thoughts, waiting for Alex to laugh or joke or even smile. But I knew he wouldn’t. Instead, he was as serious as ever, slowly nodding.
“Of course. If that’s what you want and you're comfortable with it. I’d be happy to.”
I nodded quickly, rushing the words. “That’s what I want.”
We stayed just like that, me on the bike and him standing in front of me—together. Because what did the law know about my heart?
“You promised wine,” I reminded him, his shoulders relaxing as soon as he saw I was back to normal. “I prefer red.”
15
Your Own Hand Is The Master
Alex
Andrei:You're still there. We have so much to take care of and you're frolicking on the beach with a woman who's worked diligently to take us down. You're fucked in the head, you know that?
I followed Jade into the house and peeked at my phone.
Gianna: Baby. Please let's talk.
Oh fuck—I’d forgotten all about her existence. The name sent a twinge of panic through me, but I kept scrolling to see all the notifications.
Andrei: Olya convinced me to have you both over for dinner. I'm not happy about it, but she’s pregnant and I love her. She wants to meet Jade. I’m ready to fucking kill you. EVERYONE AROUND ME HAS LOST THEIR DAMN MINDS. Come tomorrow at 7. I hate you.
Gian-my finger slid on the screen, dragging the red trashcan icon over her name and refocusing on the only person who mattered in the whole wide world.
“You prefer red?” I double-checked as I reached for the wine bottle. Jade nodded but her tiny smile spoke louder than any words.
She was unusually quiet and introspective, so as soon as I clinked my glass with hers, I started talking, like my tongue was out of control.
I told her about how my dog died. About Andrei’s usual paranoia. About my motorcycle accident when I was nineteen. I asked her about her friends and hobbies, and if she enjoyed studying law. Big spoiler—she didn’t.
Slowly, she dropped her shoulders and her smile was back. With a wine glass in hand, she sat on the couch in front of me, giggling at the way I spilled my soul in tiny snippets.
“I wanted to ask you something,” I said, and her eyes lit up with curiosity. “How did you get up on the roof?”
Jade sat up, the giddiness bursting out of her. “Promise you won’t fire anyone?”
“Fire anyone?” I echoed, having no idea what that meant.
Jade took a quick breath in and then—
“Maksim helped me.”
Holy fucking shit. I wasn’t expecting that.
