“Good morning,” she said quietly, slowly unpacking the inside of my soul just with her presence.
I nodded, suddenly having lost the gift of speech. She looked…different. The change was slight and almost imperceptible, but there was an aura of calm around her.
“Alex, do we have to discuss what happened last night? Because if it’s okay with you, I-I’d rather not for now,” Jade spoke quickly, taking fast steps toward me. Today she wore allblack. I’d never seen her in black, and I’d have given a thousand lives just to see her in every color.
“I don’t mean it in a bad way, I just…” She stopped right in front of me, my arm still outstretched toward the cups on the shelf. “I just don’t know how to…how to process it yet and I…” Her pure gaze met mine again, the warmth in her eyes soothing my anxiety.
What was it about her? What was it she did that melted all of me?
“I want to sleep. I’m so tired,” she whispered, taking another tiny step closer. She reached for the drawstrings of my hoodie, her touch deliberate and soothing. “Will you come sleep too? It’s so early and I’m exhausted for some reason.”
But the reason was evident—Jade had been holding onto fear and tension for a long time, and last night she finally trusted someone and let some of it go. Me—she put her trust inme. I’d hold that trust in my hands, in my heart, in my soul. Always.
Images of her from yesterday infiltrated my mind as I studied every single one of her beautiful features. Her eyes; enchanting and deep. Her smile; effortless and disarming. Her personality; kind and multilayered. And a brat. Because Jade loved being that.
“Okay.” I nodded, whispering just like her. “Let’s sleep.”
So we did just that. In complete silence, Jade climbed into bed and closed her eyes, breathing deep and relaxing into her slumber. I watched her gentle features rest until I too closed my eyes and fell asleep beside her, praying I could do that every day from now on.
I’d had convictions once—about the kind of woman I wanted, about what I deserved. About the way the world owed me anything I wanted.
All of that was crushed now. Jade was the one thing in my life I couldn’t take. The one thing I couldn’t steal. And I’d done an awful job at trapping her.
Jade was a whole universe, and I wanted all of it.
But not by force. Not this time.
Not ever with her.
The smoke escaped my nostrils as I sat on the beach at six o’clock in the evening, the nicotine not bringing me any peace. I knew it was six o’clock because we had to be at Andrei’s in an hour, and I hadn’t even told Jade yet.
After waking up, she’d been quiet. Even worried. Barely engaging in conversation, her smile was half-fake and she was…jittery.
This dynamic was all off for us.
For us.Jesus fucking Christ. I’d only spent a few days with her and I was already thinking like anus.
It was all on a loop in my mind. Every second spent with her, everything I might have done wrong. I stared at the ocean waves, ebbing away gently, the feeling sinking me. She probably regretted everything that happened last night.
I fucked up. At the end of the day, she was here against her will, and here I was, showing up without reason, and sleeping in her bed—fuck!
“Alex?”
I snapped my head to the gentle voice, my breath catching in my throat at the sight of her. She was back in a dress—this time flowing and dark red with tiny white polka dots peppering the fabric.
But she was smiling now.
“Can I join you?”
I nodded quickly, wanting nothing else in life except her beside me. My heart—it was bursting through my chest again. Ugh. I was so fucked.
“Jade, I—”
“I hate guys who smoke, Alex,” Jade interrupted me, throwing a pebble into the ocean. “But I like when you do it.” I had whiplash from her words, my fucking pulse hammering in my throat. “Is that weird? I like when you smell of cigarettes, but maybe you should quit. For your health, you know?”
She stole a glance at me, her eyebrows furrowed. That worried Jade from this morning was back in a flash.
“Last night…” She gulped, turning to me. “Wasn’t…wasn’t anything, right?”
