I blinked at her while her words ripped right through my heart. Last night was everything.She was everything.
Did she really think that? Did she feelnothing?
I turned to the ocean, quickly deciding to give her what she wanted. “If you want it to be nothing, Jade…I can pretend it was.”
The world stopped spinning for me at that moment. I couldn’t breathe.
It meant nothing to her.
The cigarette burned the skin on my fingers, but that was good—I liked the pain. Pain was the only constant and reliable thing in life.
She sat beside me silently and I was sure she’d walk away now. Sure that she would ask to forget the whole thing and tell me to leave.
But instead, her fingers dug into my chin, startling me. She forced my face to hers, letting me catch deep anger in her eyes.
“Look at me, then.”
The cigarette fell into the sand, and before I could react, Jade shifted onto her knees and climbed into my lap, one hand still clutching my jaw.
“Look me in the eyes and tell me you think that,” she commanded, her forehead almost pressing into mine.
And I did. I gazed into her eyes, all her defiance and hate spelled out in capital letters. I was transported back to that first night—when she looked into my eyes and bit into my flesh. And I understood that…that I was in love with her.
“Tell me it meantnothing.”
The pause stretched, but I stayed silent, unable to lie to her.
And she let go. Her fingers slipped from my chin, her bitter scoff another punch in the gut.
Her knee dug into the sand beside me, and she was about to walk away—walk away fromus,but no.
No.
Not letting her rise, I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her into me. She gasped softly and plopped back down, and that was all I needed.
“Do you want a confession, Jade?” Her eyes searched mine, the crease between her eyebrows deepening. “You remember that bite, don’t you?” Jade looked down toward my hand—the one resting on her thigh. “I kept tearing it open. Just to have something of yours. Does that sound like nothing to you?”
But Jade was silent. She kept her eyes down, tracing the bite mark with her soft finger.
“I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t work, couldn’t think, couldn’t fuckingbreathe…until I saw you again. Is that nothing?”
Her chest rose and fell with a sharp inhale, and she finally looked up at me, the worry in her eyes mirroring my inner desperation. “Say…say more things.”
My fingers settled on her waist—a dream fulfilled.
It all melted around us—the beach, the house, the world. It was just Jade—on my lap, her bottom lip trembling and my heart racing.
“Do you realize how easily you wrapped me around your finger?” I felt for her hand, never looking away from her eyes. “Yes, fine, I kidnapped you, and yes, you think it’s fucked up, but now…now I just want you to choose me. Despite that. Despite everything.”
I slid my hand on her back, and she moved closer, placing her hands on my chest. “But if you want last night to be nothing, Jade…then I’ll pretend.” My voice shook, but fuck it all. “I’ll pretend for the rest of my life, but don’t ask me to feel nothing. Don’t ask me for something I can’t give you.”
Jade’s fingers twisted in my shirt, and my nerves were one second away from slipping when—
“That can’t be true,” she whispered, her words painful. “I’m-I’m difficult. I talk back. And I’m a brat.”
She’d said all that as if it was a bad thing. “Yes, you are.” I leaned a tiny bit closer, tucking her wild hair behind her ear. Just a touch. Just a small indulgence. “And I fucking love all that. I love when you’re difficult. When you talk back. When you’re a…brat.”
Jade shook her head, trying to hide the way she was breaking down. “I’m too much.”
