“If you touched yourself when you got back last night, thinking about what we did.”
I did.
“And all night, I’ve been wrestling with what I want and how badly I want it, knowing who it will hurt,” he says, his thumb brushing my hip. He angles his head, meeting my eyes. “I can’t just…stop caring about that, Ari. It’s not how it works. You have to give me some leeway there.”
“We can end it here. Right now.”
“We can,” he says, stepping even closer. His hands slowly slide up my body until they’re cupping my face. He sweeps his thumbs along my cheeks. “Or we can…not do that.”
“I like that option better,” I admit breathlessly. Probably too quickly, but I’m just a girl at the end of the day, and he’s just the most magnificent man on the planet.
“It has to stay between us,” he murmurs, leaning in until his lips are gently brushing mine. My breath hitches and his eyes ignite, hearing the implications in such a tiny, insignificant noise. “And it ends tonight.”
My heart hammers against my ribs. Sounds like the perfect arrangement. “Deal.”
He crushes his mouth to mine.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
boston
“This isn’t goingto be anything more than this.”
She blinks up at me, blue eyes, soft edges, and genuine confusion written all over that face. She looks caught between two worlds: the one where she wants to be fucked, and the one where she doesn’t want to have this conversation. It doesn’t matter which one she chooses, we aren’t going any further until we set clear lines in the sand.
I’m emotionally fucked and loathe the idea of commitment, but I’m not a piece of shit.
She wets her lip with her tongue and fuck, would it be ridiculous to shut my eyes for this conversation so that I can focus?
“More than what? Sleeping together? Yeah, that’s fine with me, Boston.”
“Ariana,” I say, holding her by the shoulders. “You are Forker’s sister. You are more important than some girl from the bar, or someone I hook up with on a casual basis. I need to know we’re on the same page before we do this.”
“Do you want me to beg?” she asks, angling her head.
Oh my god.
I stare at her, dumbfounded, but my cock heard that and he likes the sound of that request.
She moves to lower herself to her knees.
Yeah, no. That’s not happening again. Not tonight. I jump forward to keep her upright before she does something that makes it impossible for me to think, just like she did in that bathroom.
“Stop talking like that,” I plead, my grip tightening on her arm. “We need to make this call outside of this fog of fucking lust, Ari.”
“I want you,” she says sweetly, stepping forward. She walks into my space, sliding her hands up my chest until her arms are wound around my neck. “I am not asking for a house and marriage, Boston. I want to know what it feels like to be with you. I’ve been thinking about it on a loop for two years.”
I bite back a groan, dropping my hands back to her waist. She’s tempting. So fucking tempting. But I can’t hurt her. I obviously shouldn’t be doing this to Forker, either—the guy who would jump into any fight for me without asking, and who would drop everything to help me if I needed him. No questions.
I shouldn’t be in thisposition right now. This is all kinds of wrong.
But I want her, and I want herbad.
“Tell me you get it,” I mutter, ignoring the press of her chest against mine.
“I won’t ask for anything more from you,” she promises. That blonde hair falls over her shoulder like it has a mind of its own. “Just sex, Boston. I promise.”
I nod, wetting my bottom lip with my tongue and step even closer—digging my fingers into the slope of her waist.
