‘And the next day,’ I say, ‘the police came to see me. Lily was dead. He’d pushed her so violently that she’d hit her head on the corner of the table, and she died.’
‘Oh my God.’
‘I’d just finished my degree. I was living with my friend Jen, and I was supposed to look for work, but I couldn’t. I just stayed in bed all day. Soon, I was running out of the little savings I had. Then I saw an ad for a live-in nanny in Chiswick. I applied and got the job. I moved out of the flat I shared with Jen. I had a place to live rent free and the work was easy. I mean, there wasn’t much to do. And I adored Holly. In many ways, she was the focus I needed after Lily died. I’d spiralled into a depression, and you could say she pulled me out of it.’
Teri moves her arm away from my shoulders and crosses her arms over her knees. ‘So, probably a dumb question, but if he’s such an asshole, why did you marry him? Is it because he’s rich?’
I blink at her, wiping the last of my tears. ‘No, that’s not why.’
‘So what is it?’ She waits for my answer, eyebrows raised.
‘Almost a year ago, when Holly turned sixteen, he told me that he was letting me go. She no longer needed me. I was to move out within a week.’
‘Well, fair enough, really.’
‘I know that, but that’s not the point. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave her alone with him.’
‘Why?’
Am I dreaming? ‘Have you not listened to anything I just said? I’ve just told you! He’s a monster!’
‘Well, I mean, you said he doesn’t like her spending money on new clothes or something, but a monster?’
I lean away from her. ‘Are you kidding? Have you not been listening?’
‘I have! Really! But you said he never hit her, so I’m confused. That’s all.’
‘I didn’t know what he was capable of, okay? I would never have dreamed that Rob would hit my sister, let alone kill her, and yet that’s exactly what happened. What was I supposed to do? Not act until Max did the same to Holly? I couldn’t live with myself if that happened.’
‘God, Kate. You’re so dramatic.’
My jaw hits the floor. ‘You want more? How about this? One day, Holly brought back the class pet. It was a hamster. The children used to take turns looking after it over a weekend. Max would never have said yes to that, so when it was her turn, she forged his signature and kept it in her bedroom. Max never went in there. I shouldn’t have let her keep it, but it was only for the weekend. Then that Saturday night, I went out with my boyfriend for dinner around the corner. I’d left my wallet at home so went back to get it. I could hear Holly’s screams the moment I put my key in the door. I stood at the living room door. Holly was sobbing. Max was holding her wrists, screaming about the hamster. I don’t know how he’d discovered it. I mean, it was in a cage in her bedroom. She kept asking why he took Peanut?—’
‘Peanut?’
‘The hamster’s name, Teri.’
‘That’s cute.’
I give a quick shake of the head. ‘He was so angry – he was red in the face. I went right up to him to pull him away fromher, but as soon as he saw me, he let her go anyway. He snarled something like, “I thought you were out with yourboyfriend?” I didn’t dare let her out of my sight after that.’
‘What happened to the hamster?’
‘I don’t know. When I asked, he just laughed. He probably let it out in the street or something. I went to school with Holly and told them that he had run away. But after that, I always made sure to be around when he was home.’ I look at her with narrowed eyes. ‘He’s awful. He’s a monster. I don’t know what else to tell you to make you believe that. I don’t understand why you don’t see that after everything I’ve said!’
‘I do. I do. Absolutely. So how did you end up marrying him?’
I sigh. ‘He made a pass at me once.’ I tell her the story, how he tried to kiss the back of my neck, his hands cupping my breasts. I shudder at the memory. How he laughed when I turned him down, then watched me clean the kitchen floor because I’d dropped the eggs. ‘So that night, after he told me I was let go, I went into his bed. We made love that night. Four months later, we were married.’
‘What about your boyfriend?’
‘It wasn’t serious.’
‘That’s lucky,’ she says.
I frown at her.
‘Still. That was fast,’ she adds.
