There’s been moments when I’ve hated it, of course, moments when I’ve felt that insurmountable pressure of being a Jankowski, but I will never regret how Dad put me on skates the day after I stood on my own two feet for the first time.
I will never regret those precious few memories I have of Vinny leading me around the rink with endless patience when he’s always had very little of it to spare.
All the damn feelings and memories that rise up every time I talk to Eli about hockey help me come to terms with my decision to ask for a trade, to hope that it happens this season.
Still, I can tell Eli’s biting back questions about the possibility of trades, and more specifically, questions about which teams I told Patrick I’d accept being traded to.
I haven’t been able to bring myself to tell him the details because I don’t want to disappoint him. I don’t want him to think I’m not choosing him, because I am. I’m also choosing myself, though, and I think in this case, that has to come first.
If everything goes to plan, I’m still going to be close, just not as close as either of us would probably want. I know that if I did tell him, he’d understand. He’d process the information and work around it, but talking to him is the only good thing I have.
I don’t want to... infect that with the depressing reality that is my career right now.
I didn’t tell him that on that fateful phone call, Patrick got his wife Cindy—who’s my cousins’s manager—to listen in so she could literally take notes. He asked me to explain, in as much detail as possible, every instance of harassment, of violence during practices, and of bullying. I balked at the term, of course, I’m an adult, how can anyone bully an adult?
They had very big opinions about that.
They asked for dates, locations, sometimes even timeframes, and documented everything so “we have all our ducks in a row when I barge into the GM’s office and take him to the fucking cleaners” All I know now is that Patrick has been having lots of very private conversations with a few people, and that we don’t have anything concrete yet so I’m still stuck playing for a team that hates me, and keeping my mouth shut.
I’ve gone so far as to start avoiding Dad, or I guess, I avoid spending long periods of time with Dad, because there’s no wayto escape him when he has a private suite at the arena and basically an open invitation to every inch of the facilities.
I’ve seen him a few times in the past three weeks, and I know I’m going to have to give himsomethingwhen Christmas rolls around, but for now I’ve been managing by letting him ramble on for hours about Ally.
And hey, I’ve got nothing against Dad’s girlfriend, I actually really like her and her son Corey, but hearing about her smile for more than one minute is excessive in my opinion.
It gets me out of talking, though . . .
Thinking about it any more isn’t going to help.
I have to get up, get ready, and head to the practice rink for a quick morning skate before tonight’s home game against Vancouver.
I take one thing for myself, though.
I open threads and go right to Eli’s profile to see what he’s been up to and a smile instantly takes over my face.
@ivalsupremacy
I will fight to the death on this hill: if the Jankowskis are ever on the same team, they’d win ten straight cups. Did you see Alexei’s hat trick against San Jose? Ruko built them in a lab.
@eliellsworth @ivalsupremacy
Here’s how that would go: their cubbies would HAVE to be on opposite sides of the locker room, and someone’s literal job would be to stop them from bickering when they’re not actually playing. Their teammates would go insane or egg them on. The only person fit for babysitting them would be Hulk, and he notonly has better things to do, but he’s already done his time with those two.
Sorry, seems unlikely. Just for the bickering, not for any other reason of course
@empirerise @eliellsworth
eli ellsworth has been back on socials for less than five seconds but I’ve seen enough. if anyone is mean to him, I’ll kill everyone in this room and then myself.
I chuckle, impressed by the quick and fervent loyalty he’s earned from our fans, then I decide to stir the pot. I like Eli’s response and leave a comment of my own.
@alexeijankowski15 @eliellsworth
accurate.
I walkinto the locker room to see almost everyone is already here, but McGowan, my right wing, Girard, one of the defensemen on our line, and fucking Bojarski are huddled around a phone. They’re in gear already, even have their skates on.
I have to clamp my mouth shut and actually bite my tongue to stop from groaning. Instead, I just walk straight to my cubbie and dump my duffel, then get right to changing for practice.
