That soft, tender smile graces his lips again, and as he leans in, I tilt my head down. Being this tall means even sitting down I’m still looming over him.
The kiss is as soft as before, and feels like coming home in a way I can’t process right now, but Eli pulls back before I can deepen it this time, and takes one tiny step back then shoves down his briefs.
He’s already hard, something I was trying not to focus on too much, because I am too, but now I can only focus on that, on him.
Even when he comes closer, tugs on my own briefs, I can only go limp for him and stare.
Of course I want to touch, I always have, but I’ve never been able to—or let myself—just look at him.
“You really are an angel.”
Soft words are all I’m good for as he takes his time staring at me too.
I have nothing to be self-conscious about, rationally I know that, but this is still Eli, this is still the only person who’s ever made me feel like my blood’s on fire.
He is the only person I’ve ever wanted to look good for.
“You’re perfect,” I blurt out, knowing that just lying there staring up at him and saying sappy shit probably isn’t the best look for me, but it’s what I’ve got. I’ll flex my arms or abs for him later. “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, Eli. Ever.”
“Lex,” he says, his voice half choked.
“Really, Eli. I’ve never wanted anything the way I want you, but we can go slow, right? I know everything about us has been slow, but if we have forever, then why would we need to rush?”
Lifting one leg then the other, he straddles my waist, and that first contact makes me feel like I put my hand in an electrical socket, but better.
It’s not expectation or nerves anymore, it’s anticipation.
“Can I kiss you again?” he asks softly, and brings his hand up to my cheek, cupping it gently.
“You can do whatever you want to me,” I confess, a bit pathetically, but I don’t mind being pathetic if I get a smile from him.
“The fact that I’ve never had sex with anyone doesn’t mean I’m innocent, you know?”
It takes me aback a bit that he didn’t go right for the kiss, but I can’t complain when I finally regain use of my body and lift my hands to his hips.
Then his words register and I finally stop looking at his body.
“You’re not?”
“I’m chronically online, Lex. And I’ve built a pretty nice collection of dildos over the years.”
I swallow hard.
“You have?”
A very small part of me wants to demand he show it to me right fucking now, but I dismiss that idea quickly.
“Mmhm,” he hums, then leans down to nudge my nose with his. “But I really loved hearing how we can go slow because we have forever.”
Right.
Slow.
“Whatever you want, Eli. I just want you to know that whatever you want, I’m okay with.”
Those seem to be the magical words.
When our lips finally connect, it’s not sweet or soft. No. He licks into my mouth right off the bat, and my eyes roll back with how decadent it feels to have him tracing my tongue, pushing insistently.
