Then nothing.
A devastated scream that I can feel in my soul rings in my head.
The thread in my chest is fraying—fading.
The mumbling grows louder, almost clear, but the darkness pulls me back again.
Flashes of colorful light cut through the void.
My body quakes, uncontrolled—violent.
Even in death, I can’t find peace.
I see a brilliant luminescence, but it’s snatched away by another sharp punch to my chest.
Urgent mumbling, beeping.
The overwhelming smell of copper assaults my nose.
Maybe this isn’t the end. Maybe I’m stuck somewhere in between. Not punished. Not forgiven. Just… existing.
A loud buzz fogs my brain, the dark still persistent as I float in this blank space.
There is finally a sense of calm.
More voices.
“We need you here, love… please come back.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry, son.”
“You can’t leave me, okay? Please. Wake up. I love you.”
The voices come one after another. Raw. Broken. Pleading.
Purgatory. That must be where I am.
Is this my penance? To linger in this barren place while the people I love fall apart?
I don’t want to hear it. I need them to let me go. I know they are in my head, but they feel real.
The weight in my chest starts to ease, and a bright light pulls me forward. Maybe hearing the voices of those I love one moretime was a gift, and now that I’ve heard them, I’m allowed to move on.
The glow is bright and warm, and I find myself eager to go to it. I feel as if I’m being pulled toward Heaven, the tranquility I’ve been craving finally settling into my fractured soul.
I reach for the peak of the light, but pressure in my throat jolts me. I’m choking, and the harsh smell of bleach hits my nostrils.
The light begins to fade, and with it, my hopes of peace.
My body shakes violently again, a chaos of noise clogging my brain.
More quiet.
Awareness creeps back in, that familiar pressure in my throat uncomfortable.
Voices come into focus, no longer distant, but right beside me.
“He’s starting to come to.”
