Come to what? Where am I going?
My body feels strange, not like the force of water, but constricted.
I can feel pain.
“Hudson? Can you hear me? If you can, try to open your eyes.”
No. I don’t want to. I want to go back towards the calming light.
I just want this to end.
The bright glow is back, and for a fraction of a second, I feel relief. Then another voice filters in, shattering my hopes all over again.
“It’s Dr. Anderson, Hudson. We have a lot of people eager to see you.”
I’m suddenly aware of the hard tube down my throat and something compressing my left arm. My eyes flutter, but they feel so heavy.
With effort, I finally blink into a dim room…
A hospital room.
My eyes flit around as I take in the people in white coats standing around me, a small flashlight moving above my face.
Realization stabs me in the chest.
I hoped I was going to Heaven…
Instead, I woke up back in Hell.
Chapter four
Hudson
My eyes flutter open to a harsh overhead light, my vision blurry. I blink, trying to clear the fog from my line of sight. Muted voices surround me, but become sharper the more I gain my bearings.
Awareness begins to bloom that I’m not dead like I hoped, anger sparking that I’m still stuck here. Sharp pains envelop me as the fuzzy forms in the room begin to take shape.
“Hudson? It’s Dr. Anderson. You’re in the hospital.” His voice is deep, tinged with an underlying emotion I’d rather not pinpoint.
Pity? Sadness? Understanding?
I don’t want any of it.
I blink again, Dr. Anderson’s hazel eyes coming into focus. Another doctor I don’t recognize hovers on the other side of the bed, a compassionate smile on his deeply lined face.
“Welcome back, Hudson. You gave us quite the scare.”
My brain comes online in fragments. A dull ache pulses through my body, but a rough pull against my neck is what I notice first. My arm is strapped into a sling, wires cling to my skin, and tubes crowd around me. The rigid plastic down my throat is scraping and suffocating all at once.
The pang in my chest has nothing to do with the wires or the tape pulling at my skin.
I tried to die, and somehow I even fucked that up.
I just want to die.
A monitor nearby begins to beep rapidly, incessantly. My heart batters my rib cage as it sinks in that I still have to endure the hell in my mind.
I try to scream.
