“Like I tried to drown myself in Jones River.”
His smile dies, the air between us thickening.
Okay. Guess dark humor’s off the table.
“Sorry,” I croak.
He doesn’t acknowledge it, just stands and moves to sit on the bed. “I can get you some ice chips. Dr. Mansley said they’d help. He also said you can start eating again. Liquid diet, but still.”
I sigh, the air scratching my throat. “I know what he said, Cull. I was here.”
Unfortunately.
He nods his head, an awkward silence filling the room.
A soft knock pulls our attention to the door. Hadley’s head pokes in, her expression unsure. She hasn’t been in to see me since I woke up, and I don’t blame her. Everything is still so fucked up in my life.
Moreso now.
She’s probably here to tell me I should’ve tried harder.
Even if that’s what this is, I want her to know I love her and that I’m sorry.
I weakly wave her in.
“Hey,” she says, still hesitant. “Can, um… do you mind if we talk? I-if you feel up to it. No pressure. I can—”
“We can talk,” I cut her off gently.
She shifts her gaze to Cull. He leans over, kisses my cheek, then walks out without a word.
Hadley lingers by the door, chewing her lip like she always does when she’s nervous.
“You can sit, Hads. I won’t bite.”
She walks over slowly and sits in the worn leather chair. Her knee bounces frantically, and she won’t make eye contact with me.
I reach my hand out to her. She takes it, her soft cries filtering through the room.
“I’m so sorry, Hudson. I-I didn’t know what was going on. I should’ve asked, but I never—” Her voice catches, the little bit of composure she had crumbling. “I haven’t come to see you because I d-don’t deserve to.”
I gently tug her hand. She follows, curling up next to me on the bed. I hold her while she cries, hoping she knows that I’m not angry with her.
Hurt by her words, yes. But I know we all do and say things when our minds are unraveling.
I’m exhibit A.
When she finally calms down a bit, I nudge her face up so she can see me. “I forgave you a long time ago, Hads. I just hope you know how sorry I am for everything, and for never telling you about what I had going on. It was hard enough with Mom and Dad knowing. I didn’t want you thrown in the mix, too.”
She squeezes me gingerly. “You can’t ever do something like this again, Hudson. Cullen’s soul isn’t the only one tied to yours.”
I laugh, the sound foreign as it scrapes my raw throat. “Is that why my chest aches? Your soul is trying to elbow Cull’s out of the way?”
She chuckles. “There is no removing Cullen’s soul—I wouldn’t want to.” She sighs, the sound heavy. “Just… make sure there is a little room left for your big sister.”
I roll my eyes. “Only by three minutes.”
“Yup, and that makes me older and wiser.”
