My chest clenches violently.
Bruises mark his face and throat in dark, uneven patches. His arm is strapped into a sling I didn’t notice at first, and bandages hide all the cuts beneath.
He looks… wrong.
Too still. Too pale.
If not for the rhythmic beep of the heart monitor, I’d think he was gone.
“Cullen, sweetheart, you need to put these on.”
Mrs. Nora’s quiet voice pulls me from my trance. She’s holding out something yellow, and I realize it’s a safety smock, mask, and gloves. I take them without a word and begin putting everything on, my body moving on autopilot.
“If you want to talk to him, the nurse said it can help.” She steps in to give me a hug, her soft sniffles brushing against my ear. “I’ll let you have some time alone with him.”
I take a deep, shaky breath, my eyes still glued to Hudson’s prone body.
“You were brave today. Hudson is blessed to have you.”
A tear escapes down my cheek, my voice rough when I speak. “I’d do anything to keep him here with me.”
Mrs. Nora cups my cheek, soft and loving. I can’t see her smile behind the mask, but her eyes crinkle just enough. “Which means you kept him here with all of us. Thank you.”
She steps around me and slips from the room, the soft click of the door signaling I’m alone with Hud.
Without her presence, the sounds take over. The steady beeping pierces my eardrums, and the low whoosh of the ventilator may as well be a hurricane blowing away the last pieces of my crushed heart.
The noise means he’s alive,I remind myself.
There’s a plush chair pulled up beside the bed, so I lower into it, slow and unsure. My gaze stays locked on him, scared that if I blink, he will disappear.
I don’t know what I want to say, just that I need to be near him. Reaching forward, I take his hand, warmer now than it was when we pulled him from the river.
I hate having to wear gloves. I need to feel his skin, to feel that connection between us.
Drawing in a trembling breath, I begin to speak. “Why Hud?” I pause, like maybe if I wait long enough, he’ll answer. “You lied to me. You knew. When you left my house, you knew this was what you were going to do.”
Still nothing. Just the rhythm of the machines and the quiet hiss of forced air. “I need you, baby. I can’t breathe without you…fuck.”
I let my head fall back against the padded leather of the chair. My body is exhausted. My mind is a mess. And my own injuries are screaming at me to rest.
But this moment is more important than what I need.
“I love you, and any world without you in it would be unbearable. I don’t know how to exist without you.” My throat tightens. The tears come, and I let them.
“Watching you step off that bridge—” I break, the words crumbling. “I went into that water to save you, but if I couldn’t… I was ready to go with you. I-I would’ve stopped swimming. I would’ve let myself sink.” The confession leaves me shaking. “If I couldn’t save you, then I didn’t deserve to leave that river either.”
I lean down, resting my head against the scratchy, bleach-stiffened sheets, both hands clutching Hudson’s. “I love you, Hud. You can’t leave me. I just got you. Please… please don’t leave me.”
My tears flow hard and fast. I’m full-on bawling, the kind that rattles my whole body.
A gentle hand touches my shoulder, making me jump.
Dad is crouched beside the chair, eyes glassy. He’s dressed for work, his white coat visible beneath his PPE.
“H-he can’t leave me, Dad,” I choke out, panic rising like a tidal wave. “He can’t. H-he…” I collapse into his arms, the weightof everything crashing down all at once, my body unable to hold it in any longer.
“He’s going to pull through, son. We have to have faith. He’s strong—tough. He’ll make it.” His arms are tight around me, keeping me from splintering into a million tiny fragments.
