My heart feels like it’s going to thud out of my chest, excitement and fear sprinting through me. I can’t wait to see his ocean eyes again. It feels like forever since I’ve been able to get lost in the blue depths.
But I’m terrified, too.
Dr. Mansley and Dad both warned us that we won’t know the extent of Hudson’s condition until he’s conscious. It’s possible that his brain bleed caused irreparable damage, like amnesia, or an entirely different personality. Of course, those are the rarest and most extreme cases, but they don’t freak me out any less.
Dad did say we could expect him to wake up confused. Most people do when they have tubes shoved down their throats and no way of remembering how they got there.
Speaking of the ventilator…
“Will they remove the breathing tube before then?” I ask, hopeful that I can finally kiss him without the tubes in the way. Now that his pneumonia has cleared, we don’t have to wear the PPE anymore, and it’s been comforting to feel Hudson’s warm skin beneath my fingers. I’ve needed the contact, and I like to think Hud can feel it too.
She closes down the computer and comes to stand at the foot of the bed, looking at Hud. “Unfortunately, no. His lungs were too compromised, so he needs the vent to continue to breathe and heal. If, after he wakes, he shows promising signs of normal lung function, then they will remove it. But not before he’s ready.”
I deflate back into the chair, a heavy sigh leaving me.
“I know it’s been hard, but he is getting better.” She reminds me he’s not had a seizure in over a week, and his heart is as strong as it should be for an eighteen-year-old. It does little to ebb my worries, but I’m trying to stay positive.
She leaves the room, the sound of the machines my only company.
The flowers catch my eye, a small card nestled between two dark red roses. I pluck the card from the plastic holder, unfold it… and freeze.
My blood runs cold.
Petals fall, the river cries.
I watched you step, watched you fly.
Roses red, forget-me-nots blue.
No last breath taken, because I saved you.
The door to Hudson’s room opens, and I jump so hard the chair falls over. Ella walks in, her own bouquet in her hand. She spots me, her eyes flying to the little white card in my shaking hands.
I clutch my chest, trying to keep my heart inside its cavity.
“Hey,” she says, voice hushed. “Everything alright?”
“Sit with him for a minute, will you?” I side-step her and make for the door.
“Cullen? What’s going—”
I’m in the hallway before she can finish her sentence, making a beeline to the nurses’ station. Janine is sitting at her computer, typing away.
“Janine, who delivered the flowers you brought to Hud’s room?” The words come out in a rush, my throat tight.
She looks up from her screen, a thoughtful look on her face. “Just a delivery guy, I assume. He told me which room, then left.” Her brows pinch, her eyes questioning.
My heart is racing, my palms sweaty.
Was hehere?
Was he able to get this close to Hudson, even in the hospital?
Footsteps echo down the corridor, my paranoia spiking. I turn, weights falling away from my shoulders when I see Hudson's Dad coming towards me. His smile falters when he sees the panic on my face.
“What’s wrong? Is it Hudson?”
Words failing me, I just shake my head and hand him the card. I watch his eyes fly across the words, over and over, his face stoic.
