Danny held up his hands in surrender. “I’m just checking in, Chase.” But he didn’t ask again, thank fuck, and he didn’t say anything when I texted the group chat and said I was too wiped for dinner, just gave me a sideways look.
I regretted my decision after they all headed over to Avery’s and the house was quiet again, but it wasn’t like I could just walk over there like the loser I was and tell them I’d changed my mind. So I made myself a sandwich and ate a handful of cookies for dinner and called it good. Then I went to bed early and stared at the wall and pretended I didn’t give a shit.
But I couldn’t stop thinking about those cookies. Lee had made them fresh, and he’d been decent even after I’d been a dick to him, and I couldn’t figure out what his angle was. I might have said he was trying to get back together with me except he’d said he just wanted to be friends. And I guessed I believed him. Still, I couldn’t help wondering what the catch was. And there had to be one, right? People weren’t justnicefor no reason.
Really?What about Danny?
I rolled over restlessly, pulling my blankets up. Fine, Danny had dragged Cash and me out of a dumpster—notquiteliterally—and taken us home and fed us like a couple of stray dogs. And just like a couple of strays, we’d stuck around. I still didn’t know why he’d done it in the first place. I’d asked him once and he’d shrugged and said, “It was the right thing to do.” But Dannywas the exception. He was made of sunshine and smiles and goodwill.
And Bobby?
Wow, my brain was a chatty little fucker tonight, wasn’t it? I glared at the wall, but I was forced to admit that yeah, when Danny had asked Bobby if he had a job going at the gas station, he’d looked my skinny ass up and down and asked if I could make coffee and work a cash register. I’d glared at him and given a bitten-off “No” and thought he’d send me packing. But he’d just hummed under his breath, then said, “I’ll put you with Renata. She’ll show you the ropes.” And that had been that. And then there was the way he’d given me a bike, and a new, better job so I didn’t have to work nights anymore.
Okay, fine, Bobby wasn’t an asshole either.
And then I couldn’t help thinking about Wilder and Avery, who treated me like family—notmyfamily, obviously, but one that was less fucked up, one where they actually liked each other and did things like loan you jackets and check in on how you were feeling and invite you for dinner even when it wasn’t your regularly scheduled dinner night.
LikeLee’sfamily, maybe.
And that brought my thoughts full circle back to Lee and trying to figure out why the fuck he’d baked me fresh cookies and been nice to me after I’d dumped him. He’d told me he understood the whole protective brother thing, what with Sam having had cancer, and it felt like he really did get it. I tried to imagine how I’d feel if Cash ever got sick like that, and even the idea of my brother in a hospital bed had me breaking out in a cold sweat. I sat up and hugged my knees, taking a couple of shaky breaths and reminding myself that Cash wasfine, we were both fine.
Well, not fine exactly. Cash hadn’t been wrong when he’d said we were both fucked up. I hugged my knees harder.
Cash and I hadn’t talked since we’d fought. He’d gone out last night and I’d been asleep when he came home, and he’d been sleeping when I left for work this morning. I found myself missing him desperately and wishing he was here so I could tell him how sorry I was. Not for wanting to protect him—he’d been wrong about that not being my job—but for yelling at him when he hadn’t done anything except worry about me, the same as I worried about him.
The front door creaked open and I listened for Gracie’s chatter, but a second later the bedroom door eased open and Cash slipped into the room.
He didn’t say anything—ha!—but just sat down next to me and put a container in my hands. It was warm. Then he held out a fork.
“You went for lasagna?”
He hummed and flicked on the bedside lamp.
I peeled the lid of the container off and dug in, even though I’d already eaten. It smelled too good to not eat it right away.
“You went and talked to Lee,” I said around a hot, cheesy mouthful.
He hummed again.
“What the hell did you do that for?”
Cash elbowed me in the side. “Because I look after you too, you fucking dumbass.”
I had to swallow twice to get the lasagna down.
Had to blink to stop my eyes from stinging when I realized it was true. Because every time I’d taken a beating for Cash, who’d dragged me up off the floor and looked after me? Who’d held bags of frozen peas against my eye and dabbed iodine on my cuts? Who’d carefully stuck Band-Aids on the places that needed them? Who’d climbed into bed with me after all that and hugged me until I could pretend I wasn’t crying?
And who’d brought me lasagna from Avery’s place because he knew I’d want some?
I put the fork and the empty container down on the nightstand and wrapped my arms around Cash’s neck, resting my forehead against his. Something in me broke loose when he hugged me back, and the next thing I knew I was crying and I couldn’t stop, so I didn’t try. I rested my head on his shoulder and Cash held me and made soft noises, running a soothing hand down my spine and taking care of me. He’d been doing it my whole life—I’d just been too busy worrying about him to see it.
I lifted my head and blinked the wetness away. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too.” He let go of me and gave me an expectant look, and I got the hint. I lay down on the bed and he relaxed against my side, one arm draped over my stomach and his head nestled over my heart. His voice was quiet when he said, “I meant what I said. I don’t need you here every second. And you deserve to go on dates and have a life without spending every minute worrying.” He lifted his head and caught my gaze. “We both do.”
I let that sit for a minute and found myself remembering what Lee had told me—how sometimes Sam had needed that protectiveness, but sometimes she’d just needed to be treated like she was normal. Maybe Cash needed that more than he needed me hovering over him all the time. I sat with it long enough that Cash nudged me. “Chase?”
I pulled him closer. “You still have nightmares, though.”
