“Yeah, but I’ll have those whether you’re here or not. And they’re getting better.”
I thought about it and realized he was right. He still had plenty of them, but now I wasn’t working nights, they were getting further apart. Maybe that was why that last one had hit me so hard.
“Besides,” Cash said, “I don’t want us to end up like those creepy twins who are ninety years old and still live together and finish each other’s sentences, okay?”
I snorted. “Like you’re ever finishing anyone’s sentences.”
“Fuck you,” he said and pinched my side.
I yelped and Cash grinned at me, and I knew we were okay.
He curled up close and I felt the tension bleed out of him as I lay there, turning over what he’d said. The more I thought about it, as scary as fuck as it was to admit it, Cash was right. We couldn’t go through life holding each other back just because I was afraid to let go. If we did that, our piece-of-shit dad really would win.
It was okay to want to live my life, and go on dates, and be my own person. Cash would still be there for me, just like I’d always be there for him. But we didn’t have toonlybe there for each other.
Well, fuck.
Cash really was the smart twin, wasn’t he?
“I fucked up with Lee,” I said.
Cash levered himself up on one elbow and regarded me with dark, earnest eyes. “Nah. I bet he’d be your boyfriend again if you asked him.”
My stomach twisted with the reminder of Lee’s rejection. “You’re wrong. I told him we could just fuck around for fun, and he said no. He didn’t even want that,” I said bitterly.
Cash shoved my shoulder. “He said no because he didn’t wantjustthat, dumbass. He likes you.”
I almost hated Cash in that moment for making me think there was a chance of getting what I wanted for once. When had that ever worked out for me?
I wasn’t sure what Lee saw in me anyway, and now he’d had time to think about it, he’d probably decided I wasn’t worth the effort.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “It’s not like I’m going to tell him I changed my mind.”
Cash shrugged. “Fine. Don’t ask him.”
“Fine,” I repeated. “I won’t. I didn’t even like him that much.”
“Oh yeah?” Cash said. “Then can I date him? He’s kind of hot, and I know I’m his type.”
“No!” The word came tumbling out of my mouth, my chest tightening at the idea of Lee being with someone else—even if that someone else was my other half.
Cash raised his eyebrows and gave me a look that clearly said he thought I was full of shit.
“Fine,” I said after a minute. “I still want to date him.”
My brother wassuchan asshole. I still pulled him down close to me and hugged him tight, though. His body shook, and I was pretty sure he was laughing at me.
“I still can’t believe you went over there,” I said. “Where did you even get his address?”
“From Wilder. You gonna talk to him?”
I didn’t love the idea of having to admit that I’d been wrong, and I liked the idea of Lee telling me no even less. But Cash had gone to Emporia, and he’dtalked—to someone he barely knew—and he’d done it because he was looking after me.
Of course I was going to do whatever he asked.
And Leehadsaid he wanted more, and he hadn’t lied to me so far. “I guess.”
Cash grinned at me. “Good.”
