I leaned into the car and looked at the dash. “Is that what that means?”
He sighed and shook his head. “Okay, well, let’s get itin the back.”
“I brought you some pie,” I told him as I wandered around the garage looking at all the tools hung up all over the walls. There was also a poster of a naked woman with teased hair and bolt-on boobs, her legs spread wide showing her vag. “Umm… you’ve got some interesting artwork.”
He slid out from beneath my car for a moment and glanced up at the poster. “Yeah, sorry about that. Mechanics are pigs. You said something about pie, though?”
“Yeah, it’s in the passenger’s seat. I know you like app-”
“Apple is my favorite,” he interrupted.
“Well, we were out of apple, so I brought you cherry.”
I heard him laugh. “Delicious.” Sliding back out again, he sat up. “There’s something wrong with your exhaust system. That’s what the code machine is saying, but I’m going to have to take it all apart to figure it out. There’s nothing I can see from just poking around. Honestly, I think you’ve got several problems.”
If he only knew…
“Okay, so, how long does that take?”
“A day, or so probably. Then I imagine I’ll have to get parts, so it might be in the shop a couple of days, honestly.”
“Shit, okay. I’m probably going to have to wait on that a little bit.”
He nodded. “Yeah, no problem. It’s not an emergency, but you’ll definitely want to get it taken care of soon.”
Why is his voice so deep?
“Okay, well, thanks for your time and meeting me so late. I really appreciate it.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, no problem. Did you still want me to change the oil?”
Oh, duh….
“Yeah, thanks. That would be great.”
“It’ll be about 20 minutes. You can hang out here, or there’s a customer lounge just through that door. Wherever you are more comfortable.”
He walked away, turning his focus back to my poor, neglected Nissan. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and began to thumb through it. I figured if I put my focus on my phone’s screen, I would be less likely to get caught staring at JR while he got all sweaty and covered in grease.
My intense attraction to him was so strange to me. I hadn’t had a man make me nervous like that since I was a teenager. There was justsomethingabout him. Something that made me want to be close to him and at the same time I wanted to run as fast as I could inthe other direction.
I felt like I had become completely disillusioned with men as a whole. Which, being a man myself, was really saying something.
In my incessant need to garner my parent’s approval, I’d let myself become trapped in a relationship with someone I didn’t love. I tried so hard at first. My parents weren’t happy when I came out. My father didn’t speak to me for weeks after I told them. I was still in college at the time, and I seriously thought they were going to disown me.
Then, one night, I came home from work and David was sitting on the couch drinking a beer with my father. He introduced him as a new rookie cop on Dad’s squad, and, basically, that was it.
I can’t say that I was necessarilyforcedto go along, but it sure felt like it wasDavid or bustas far as my father was concerned. I get why—they were a lot alike and my father had always loved anyone who was willing to suck up to him.
Meanwhile, there I was in the garage feeling majorly confused. Conflicted. Whatever. Yeah, my car needed an oil change, but it’d needed that for months, and I didn't give a shit. But, suddenly, some stupidly sexy man tells me he’s a mechanic, and I just can’t wait to get my car into his hands? Why did he have to be so hot though? And so menacing at the same time? Why did he have to smile at me the way that he did, andlook like he could snap me in half with his arms tied behind his back?
Why did he have to call me adorable?
Nobody had ever called me that before. Well, nobody in person, that was. James told me he was sure I was the most adorable boy on the planet in one of his letters once. Which was hilarious, considering he had no clue what I looked like. In fact, I think the only man I’d ever been attracted to was James. And James was practically just a figment of my imagination. My dream boyfriend that would never materialize.
Although… hewasmaterializing, wasn’t he? I got a little anxious thinking back on the last letter I had received from him talking about his release and promising he would contact me when he was stable and had a phone.
I didn’t think I was brave enough to face him. I lied to him. For years, I led him on and never told him about David. I knew it was fucked up, but I just couldn’t bring myself to be honest. I couldn’t lose James. We had been exchanging letters since before I even met David, but I also neverstoppedsending him naughty letters even after David and I were together. I felt like James was a part of me at that point. I couldn’t describe it.
