“Crushed it,” Felix lied. He’d be happy if he escaped with a passing grade. “What about you, did you make those numbers your bitch?”
“Again,” Jacob said. “There’s more to a stats degree than numbers. And my last exam isn’t until this afternoon.”
“Right,” Felix said, remembering the messages he’d looked at for two seconds last night before forcing himself to go back to watching a movie. “Then you’re going over to David’s for the lease stuff before dinner.”
“To sign the lease, yeah.” Jacob said it quietly, like it was something to feel guilty about. Shit,didhe feel guilty about it? Did he think Felix was still upset? Felix was still upset, but he was trying very hard to convince himself otherwise. It was stupid to be upset about it.
Felix rocked sideways to nudge their shoulders together. “What’s with the face? Thought you were psyched about it.”
“I am,” Jacob said, too fast. But he still looked strange.
Felix nudged him harder. “You know I’m not sad about it anymore, right? So if that face is about me, you can cut it out.”
Jacob looked up, surprised. “You’re… not sad about it?”
Felix laughed, pulling in every ounce of his high school theater kid skills. He’d spent a lifetime playing Loveable Goofball Sidekick With Nothing Under The Surface. Time to earn himself an Oscar. “No,” he scoffed. “Are you kidding me? Of course you don’t want to live with me, man. I’m a disaster! Even if Iwasn’t, you still wouldn’t want to live with me. We’d drive each other crazy, like you said.”
“Right,” Jacob said, still weirdly quiet. He opened his mouth, hovering on the verge of speech for so long Felix started freaking out. Then Jacob sighed, tugging at the closed zipper on Felix’s single suitcase. “You’re very prepared.”
“It has been known to happen,” Felix said, relieved. “Also I don’t have much crap to pack. Which made things easier.”
Jacob hummed. He reached over to the nightstand and picked up the only things left to pack: a tube of burn cream and the hand cream Jacob cajoled him into buying whenever his last one ran out.
“Can’t forget these,” he said.
“I’m not forgetting,” Felix replied. “I was leaving those out so I remember to use them.”
He went to take them from Jacob. But Jacob had already set the hand cream back on the nightstand and was unscrewing the burn cream.
Felix had to bite his cheek to stop his smile from going haywire. “Icando it myself.”
“I know,” Jacob said. “Just… old time’s sake.”
He took Felix’s burned hand and rubbed the cream gently into the healing skin. Felix’s hand tingled in a way that had nothing to do with the cream.
Jacob started on the other hand. His movements were slower than usual, none of the efficient swipes Felix was used to. This was slow and soft. If this was anyone else, Felix might have thought he was treasuring this moment as much as Felix.
Then Jacob stopped. Not rubbing in the cream, just… holding them.
Felix waited for Jacob to let go. But Jacob just stood there, holding Felix’s hands and looking down at him with those big, dark eyes that made Felix’s breath catch. What was happening right now? It couldn’t be what Felixthoughtwas happening. Romance didn’t happen to Felix. Obviously Jacob was making a pass at him. Right?
“Felix,” Jacob said.
Felix panicked. He pulled his hands out of Jacob’s grip and clenched his hands in Jacob’s button-down. “How about one last fuck?” he asked. “To say goodbye to the dorm room.”
Jacob’s gaze dropped to his mouth. Bitter victory surged through Felix’s chest—even if he couldn’t have what hereallywanted, he could at least have this.
“But we…” Jacob paused, swallowing. “We already finished the list.”
“Screw the list,” Felix whispered.
He leaned up hungrily, his mind already filling with memories: Jacob against him, on top of him, inside him. He wanted it so much. Almost as much as he wanted Jacob to love him the same way he loved Jacob.
Jacob’s eyes went half-lidded. But before Felix could kiss him, Jacob jerked back.
“We, uh.” Jacob cleared his throat, flustered. “We shouldn't.”
“Oh,” Felix said weakly. “Cool. Sure.”
