Dmitry looks at me with an expression that’s hard to decipher. It could be pity or puzzlement. “He hasn’t talked to you about any of this?”
“We made a pact pretty early on not to talk about money,” I reply sheepishly. “At the time, I didn’t argue with him because… Well, I’ve got my own secrets I wasn’t ready to blurt out.”
“Well, I guess you’ve got a lot more to talk about now. I don’t envy youthatconversation.”
“I think I’ll wait ‘til we get home to drop the news….”
Dmitry snorts. “Probably best to do it far from civilization where no one can hear the screams.” Then he groans, dragging his hands through his hair. “Whatever you do, don’t keep this from Luke for too long, or you’ll be sorry. He’s not great with surprises.”
With his final warning given, Dmitry gets up and walks me to his office door. I get the distinct impression he’s kicking me out, and after he laughs and gives me a firm handshake, he tells me he’s got to stick around to file some more paperwork for my insanity, so I’ll be forced to go back to the apartment alone.
That’s the first time my anxiety rears its head from this entire thing, and I can’t help but laugh at the irony. Buying the most expensive house I’ll ever own in the largest city in the country is fine, but navigating the streets of New York City alone is what makes me nervous?Ridiculous. And yet, somehow, laughing in the face of the juxtaposition helps.
Besides, if I’m going to make this city my new home, I’m going to have to learn how to navigate it on my own, or I’ll never survive. So, despite how my heart thumps against my ribcage as I make my way back down to the busy city streets alone, I hail a cab, which pulls off the road quicker than I’d expected, and I crawl into the backseat.
After I give him Luke’s apartment address, the driver peels off the curb with all the haste of a man on a mission to get a pregnant lady to a hospital before the baby comes. The trip is equally as exhilarating as it is uneventful, with lots of honking, narrowly avoiding pedestrians, and cursing in a language I don’tunderstand. But he gets me there in record time. Afterward, I find I have a new appreciation for Luke’s erratic city driving. At least he doesn’t make me carsick.
I pay the man, then stand on the curb and look around the block at the urban landscape. A tingling sense of euphoria moves through my entire body.
If someone would have told me three months ago that I’d not only be standing in the largest city in the country, but that I would travel through italone, I would have thought they were insane. Never in my wildest imagination did I think I could achieve such a simple yet insurmountable feat at this stage in my life after everything that’s happened to me, yet here I am. I wouldn’t even recognize myself if I’d seen into the future.
Unsurprisingly, Luke is still asleep by the time I make it upstairs. As I curl back up in bed, and he melts into the curve of my body like it was carved out for him, I feel a giddy sense of completion. For once, it feels like everything is going right, and I’m excited for what tomorrow will bring.
In opposition to my euphoric mood, Luke's shifts noticeably downward on the last day of our trip. He dreads leaving, and even though he tries to hide his woes from his friends, the chains of misery weigh on him so heavily that everyone can see through his attempt to remain positive.
The most significant source of Luke’s depression comes when he realizes that leaving the city means leaving Misty behindagain, and it tears him apart. This time, I’m worried it’ll break his spirit for good, abandoning her once more. However, he’s still adamant that he can’t take her to Michigan. Not if it means bringing her into a home with Pete, the horrid stepfather whowould take the first opportunity to throw her out of the house or do worse to her.
Luke won’t let her out of his arms as he packs, kissing her head, her paws, her nose… She purrs contentedly through it all, and I can’t tell if it’s because she knows or is oblivious to the fact that he’s leaving her behind for god knows how long this time.
There’s an easy opening here for me to drop the truth about the house, but whenever I open my mouth, my throat dries up, and my jaw clenches like it’s wired shut. Part of my hesitance comes from the very rational fear that Luke will think I’m as crazy as Dmitry believes I am, and I don’t know how I’d handle that—especially since I haven’t even been brave enough to tell the man how I feel about him! It’d be weird skipping straight to, “Will you move in with me?” before I’ve even said, “I love you.” Right?
Besides, spilling the beans now means getting into the larger conversation about the money that I’m still unprepared to have. At least not yet. I know I’ll have to break the news delicately, and definitely not while we’re rushing to catch a plane… Instead, I pick the easier path for now—a way to make Luke happy without spilling my crazy all over him.
“Why don’t you keep Misty at my house?” I ask.
Luke freezes, turning to look at me with the most vulnerable, awestruck expression I’ve ever seen. “What?” he asks, almost as if he doesn’t comprehend.
“She can stay at my house,” I repeat. “She’ll be safe there, and you’ll be able to see her every day if you want. You won’t have to leave her here again. She can come with us.”
“Are you sure?” Luke frowns, staring at me skeptically. “It’s a big ask. You’re willing to take care of her? Feed her, change her litter boxes?”
“Of course. I’ll do whatever she needs. Whateveryouneed.”
As the gravity of what I’m offering fully settles over Luke, he starts crying. He crosses the room and pulls me into his chest, wrapping an arm around my neck tightly while he holds a now slightly annoyed Misty between us, but I can feel the relief rolling off his shoulders. He kisses me, throwing all of his gratitude behind the motion. I close my eyes and lean into the embrace, and I wonder if he has any idea how strong of a hold he has over me.
After we’re all packed and ready to go, there are many hugs and tear-filled goodbyes between Luke and his roommates. They make promises to keep in touch with each other more and demand that Luke take care of himself. Then, when he’s out of earshot, they order me to keep him safe, and I give them my solemn vow to do my best.
As Luke and I trek across the city, Misty sits perfectly contentedly in the cat carrier, closing her eyes and drifting to sleep as if she genuinely isn’t bothered to be there. Luke, on the other hand, worries over her like a mother hen every chance he gets, cooing at her and reaching inside to pet her. I think he’s more nervous about this trip than she is.
However, he calms down as soon as we’re on the plane and in the air once he sees how at ease Misty remains. Even though it’s the first flight of her life, you’d think she was used to flying with how calm and comfortable she is. It makes me wonder if she’s really that chill or if she knows she has no reason to be concerned.
On the drive back to my house from the Detroit Metro Airport, Luke finally lets her out of the carrier. She stands on his lap in the front seat with her paws on the windowsill, staring out at the rolling landscape with an excited flick of her tail. She’s completely unfazed, even as we pull into my driveway and bring her into the house for the first time. I would have expected her to try and hide under furniture where she could process the changeof scenery slowly. Instead, she trots around the ground floor, smelling everything, and exploring with all the confidence of an animal that doesn’t know the meaning of fear.
She keeps gravitating to a spot near the doorwall to the back deck, staring out the window at the birds. There are fewer this time of year, but the blue jays and cardinals keep her busy.
Seeing how easily she settles in, Luke finally comes back to hug me. He drops his head on my shoulder, and my arms reflexively wrap around his waist. “Thank you.”
“Of course,” I say softly, holding him more tightly. “I’d do anything for you.”
