“Ouch.” I wince. I get what he means, but it still comes off a little harsh, and I can’t help but feel the judgment in it.
“I didn’t mean…” Luke sighs, wiping a hand over his face. “I just don’t understand why anyone wouldwantto stick around this place. There’s nothing to do here except come tothisbar or drive almost an hour away to find civilization.”
“Again,ouch.”
I’m trying hard not to be offended here, but at the same time, I’m also finding it hard to fault him. He’s notwrong. We’re over thirty minutes north of the last big town separating the rolling green country from the more urban landscapes. Even though we’re still somehow considered part of the Metro-Detroit area, this far up, there’s nothing but farmland and dilapidated one-horse towns dotted across the otherwise desolate area, with populations so small they’re almost negligible. I mean, there were fifty people in my graduating class—kids from across three different zip codes meeting somewhere in the middle because it was more economical than operating three different high schools for so few students.
Jesus. How many times have I wondered what the fuck I’m still doing here? But the point hits a little too close to home for my liking, making me uncomfortable.
“Look, I stand by what I said. But if it works for you, I guess that’s all that matters.” As he says it, Luke sounds a little prickly. He’s staring at me, and I can see how his jaw clenches like he’s preparing for a fight.
Something about the look in his eyes gives me pause, and I can see there’s more to this than he’s letting on. It instantly quells the building resentment in me to realize what it is. There are probably many reasons why someone like Luke couldn’t wait to put as much distance as possible between himself and a place like this—reasons I never had to deal with. He’s defensive for a damn good reason, and I can’t help but frown, recognizing that I brought it out in him. That wasn’t my intention, so I try to roll back my attitude.
“Well—” I concede, sighing. I offer an olive branch, hoping it’ll be enough. “It’s definitely not as glamorous as New York, so I can’t blame you there.”
Luke’s face twitches, and I watch as he takes a second to process that the conversation de-escalated in a way he wasn’t prepared for. He seems shocked that I’m not angry with him, like he doesn’t know what to do with himself now that the argument is over. He grips the bottom of my shirt as it hangs down over his waist, twisting the fabric between his fingers absently.
I try to ease the tension a bit more. “You know, I’ve never been, but I always heard it was exciting. How did you like living there?”
Luke shrugs. “I loved it, honestly. The city’s massive. And so much more diverse than you can probably imagine. It shocked me seeing how many different people can exist in one place, especially after livingheremy whole life. People think it’s overcrowded, and it kind of is, but it’s so much better for it. There’s so much to do—so much art and culture. You’ll never see the same thing twice. I had a lot of good friends, too. It was easyto feel like I belonged there. And thefood—God, don’t get me started on all the food.I’m not sure I’ll survive without it.”
I can’t help but match Luke’s smile as it grows. It’s easy to see how he loves the city by the way his face lights up when he talks about it. Somehow, I can see him there, living his best life surrounded by friends and family of his choosing, soaking up the lights of the city that never sleeps. He’s obviously meant to be there. Once I see it, I can’t imagine him anywhere else.
But then I frown as it brings up more questions than answers.
“Why did you come back?” I ask before thinking, cursing myself immediately after the words leave my mouth.
I watch the instant Luke’s face shuts down with the question, and he looks away, staring blankly across the parking lot. “It’s complicated,” he says softly, but with an air of finality that makes it known that he’s not interested in explaining any further.
God, I’m such an idiot. There’s a weird feeling in my chest, a desperate tug at my heart, but I shake my head and suppress it.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”
“It’s fine,” Luke replies quickly, shaking his head.
I swallow hard. “Look, I, um… I know I’m probably not the first person you’d want to talk about this stuff with, but I’d be okay if you did. If you want to. Sorry, that sounded stupid.” I pinch my forehead, grimacing slightly. I need to stop talking. Why am I suddenly sweating?
Luke studies me closely, a ghost of a smile creeping up his lips.
“What I mean to say is that you’ve got my number if you ever want to talk,” I clarify.
“Thank you,” Luke replies after a moment, and I can see that he’s being genuine, if only by how uncomfortable he looks speaking the words. Like he’s not used to being offered kindness. Then he clears his throat and gives me a weak smile. “For theshirt, I mean,” he adds, but we both know that’s not what he means.
“No problem,” I reply breathlessly.
“Well, I’m going to head back inside now,” Luke says, giving me a sidelong glance as he turns back toward the bar. “Are you coming?”
I shake my head. “I’ll meet you in there in a minute.”
He nods, and I watch as he heads back in, glancing back to meet my eye once more before disappearing through the door.
I don’t follow him right away. Instead, I lean back against my truck and look up at the night sky. The clouds have thinned enough that I can see the full moon glowing with a halo of light around it, and I stare at it wistfully as I try to figure out what exactly has been happening to me lately. I wonder if I’ll ever figure it out.
Chapter Five
To the Rescue
Sundaymorning,Igetup early out of habit. The sun isn’t even up yet, but there’s enough twilight outside that my biological clock tells me it’s time to be awake, and I have no choice but to obey.
