When Eric gets up, my irritation skyrockets to new heights. He drags himself out into the sunlight like a vampire about to burn to a crisp from the brightness and immediately starts whining. The bed was too uncomfortable last night, the air too cold, his back too sore, and he has a hangover headache threatening toundo him. It starts to grate on my nerves the longer he talks about his benign problems.
It’s clear that the energy is off around here, and apparently,I’mthe reason for it. Even though I’m just sitting heretryingto read, it seems like everybody can tell that I’m in a bad mood. They tiptoe around me like they’re afraid I’m a bomb about to go off, exchanging glances and hushed whispers as they stare at me, trying to figure out what’s wrong without asking outright. The longer it goes on, the higher the chances I’ll actually explode. I’m cranky and sleep-deprived and not in the mood to be scrutinized.
The final nail in the coffin comes when Luke steps outside to join the rest of us right as breakfast is set out on the table. He’s still wearing my hoodie, his pristinely quaffed hair a little wild from sleep, and he rubs his eyes with his hand as he yawns and stretches. It’s the most disheveled I’ve ever seen him, yet he’s somehow as beautiful as ever. Utterly unfair.
All it takes is one look at him standing there to realize I’m fucked. It doesn’t help that a wave of awkward silence rolls through the rest of the camp as soon as Luke turns his eyes to me, his expression ice-cold. My body goes rigid as a possibility I didn’t consider strikes fear into my heart. What happens if Luke doesn’t handle this civilly?
Is he the kind of person who would take our issues and make them everybody’s problem, or will he keep them between us? It’s not like he knows I have any reason to want to be discreet, but what if he winds up saying something about last night that will inadvertently out me to everyone here? Luke wouldn’t do that… Would he?
“Good morning, Luke! Come and have some breakfast,” Tiff says, breaking the tension with a warm smile. “I made chocolate chip pancakes.”
Luke smiles back, but it’s tense as he surveys all of my friends like they’re enemies on a battlefield. He comes over to the empty chair next to mine, but instead of sitting down as I would have expected, he picks it up and moves across the camp, as far away from me as possible, while still remaining a part of the group.
That awkward silence gets even more uncomfortable.
I stare at Luke in shocked disbelief. He may as well have just smacked me across the face with how obvious that was, and now everyone’s eyes are suddenly on me, questioning what the hell this is about. I can feel my face burning from the unexpected attention, and the muscles in my jaw twitch from how hard I’m suddenly clenching it. I glance around the group before looking back at Luke with a scowl. If he cares that he just made things incredibly difficult for me, I can’t tell. He’s purposefully avoiding my gaze.
There’s no way I can sit here and pretend everything’s good after that, not when the already tense atmosphere feels paper-thin. Scoffing, I get up from my chair and toss my book on the seat with an audible ‘thwack.’ It’s harsh—the book didn’t deserve that—but I don’t fucking care at this point. I’m bringing everyone’s weekend down from this fucked up situation, so it’s probably best to excuse myself until I’m in a better mood.
“I’m going for a walk,” I announce irritably to no one in particular, avoiding everyone’s stares as I turn and walk away without another word.
Chapter Nineteen
Crossed Wires
Myback’sagainstatree as I sit on the dune cliffs overlooking the lake, eyes closed, listening to the sound of the waves washing up along the shore. It’s the most peace I’ve felt all morning, all things considered.
It took a few hours to walk off my anger and find serenity, but it feels like it’s being held together with duct tape and a ball of string.
I know I’ll have to go back and face everyone eventually, but how the hell am I supposed to explain what happened this morning? I can’t pretend everything’s fine when it’s so obvious it’s not. Luke and I are stuck here together until Monday. I don’t know how we’ll manage it.
There was a brief moment when I considered packing up my stuff and going home early, leaving him to fend for himself. One of the others could drive him home, so it’s not like he’d be stranded, and it would be an easy out from this mess… But that feels too extreme to actually consider.
Besides, this ismycamping trip withmyfriends. If I can’t make up with Luke, I can at least try to salvage the trip withthe rest of them. That’s the whole point of being up here. And, honestly, fuck Luke if he thinks he can mess up the one good thing I look forward to every year by being an asshole. Even if he is an unforgivably pretty one.
I’ve been alone out here all morning, working through my hurt and anger, trying to put it away. Part of me wonders when Marcus will come looking for me. It’s the kind of thing he typically does, his pep talks always bringing me back to good. So, when I hear a twig snapping behind me, I open my eyes and turn, expecting to see him coming to drag me back to camp.
I’m shocked to see Luke heading toward me instead.
My stomach drops, my chest tightening, and my mind reels with all the possible ways this will end badly. I’m paralyzed as he walks up and stands right next to me, staring out across the lake before sitting down, all without saying a word.
He’s changed clothes, my hoodie discarded for a floral-patterned tank top and khaki shorts, with a pair of blue-checkered Vans that perfectly accent the fit. I hate myself for noticing how attractive it makes him look with his bare arms showing. Apparently, I’m a fucking masochist. That’s a fun discovery.
I watch him warily, bracing myself like I’m waiting for the impact of a tsunami wave that’s bound right for me.
“You’re a hard person to find,” Luke says first, throwing me off at how calm he sounds. Where’s the brimstone and vitriol? The unyielding venom?
He turns to look at me when I don’t answer, his eyes searching my face like he’s expecting to find something there that I can’t even begin to comprehend. After a minute, he sighs, looking back out at the lake again.
“Are we going to talk about it?” he asks coolly. Cool as a fucking cucumber, only I know he’s equipped with razor-sharp talons ready to shred me to pieces at a moment's notice.
I frown, swallowing hard. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
Luke laughs, the sound bitter. He shakes his head and turns his eyes to me again. “What do you want from me, man?”
“I don’t want anything from you, Luke. I really don’t.”
“Bullshit.”
