She nods. “I girthed the saddle wrong, even before all of thathappened. On that first turn, it twisted, and I lost my footing. It was an accident. It happens.”
“But—” I can’t even finish, becausebutwhat? She didn’t shut me out after I dropped the ball because I lost one more thing. And then, she was in the hospital and some rehab, and I went to college, and now, here we are. So much time lost and wasted on what? A misunderstanding and pettiness over not reaching out first?
“That’s why I told you it was all good the other day. I mean, you were all I had, and you did leave me. That felt like absolute shit.”
I open my mouth to say sorry, but she continues, “I was mad. And hurt. And alone, and you disappeared.”
“I thought it was my fault, Saylor. All of it. I just couldn’t take one more thing. I was also young and dumb. But I am sorry. I shouldn’t have. I should’ve said something sooner. This whole thing could’ve been dealt with if I just faced my fears and talked to you.”
She brushes her black and white hair off her face, blinking her piercing blue eyes at me, nodding. “I get it. I’m sorry, I know it was a while ago, and I have had time to think about everything, but Riley, if I would’ve known you have been blaming yourself this whole time, I would have reached out too. It’s not all on you. And again, I meant it the other day. I wasn’t being sarcastic. Shit happens. I didn’t know you thought it was your fault, and neither of us reached out.”
She opens her arms, knowing damn well I want to throw myself at her, which I obviously do. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m sorry too,” she says, hugging me tightly.
“No, but really. I was shitty and didn’t know what to do with all the sads that inundated me all the damn time. I hate this for us and for me, and I’m sorry. I promise I won’t take your friendship for granted an?—”
“Breathe, Riley. I’m okay. You apologized, I apologized, we can agree we were both young and just irrational and emotional. I’m glad we cleared the air.” She taps my shoulder, her signal to letgo of her, and I respect it. We smile at each other as she adds, “I’m glad you called tonight. She’s going to be fine, but the doc will be here in the morning to see her.”
“Thank you. Really.”
“Now…” Her smile is devious now.
“What’s up with him?” She points at the barn, where Dominic disappeared behind the doors. I can’t ignore the way my body comes to life at the simple mention of him, and she can see it all over me.
There’s no point in lying, so I let out a breath as she says, “Spill. I want all the tea.”
32AWE-INSPIRING
Dom
“We should bringa TV in here, don’t you think?” Riley asks as she walks Juniper around by hand. There were no records of the mare when we brought her to the vet, who diagnosed her with colic. She was so malnourished, we decided to keep her. Riley has not left her side since we brought her back. When it was time to name her, I knew immediately the name that best suited her—Juniper, resilient, strong, youthful, just like Riley. She loved it too, so it stayed.
“What for?” I continue adding new shavings to the stall.
“So Juni girl can be entertained before she decides to step out into the world, you know?” Juniper has been struggling leaving the barn, even with guidance. Doctor Burton said it was normal and to give her time, but Riley refuses to accept it.
“We can play videos of nature nonstop until she gets used to it again, right, my girl?” she asks her, tilting her head towards her neck.
I sweep the aisle now that the stall is clean so Juniper can getback in and rest. She didn’t need surgery, but she’s not out of the woods yet.
“What do you think?” Riley asks, guiding Juniper into her stall—one she goes into willingly. Riley’s a horse whisperer.
“I don’t think a TV is gonna help.”
She huffs, unclipping the lead rope and giving Juniper space. When we first met, she made a comment about not loving being around horses but how she was good at it—I can see it, but what happened that made her not like them in the first place?
“Fine. I’ll keep thinking about it.”
She plops herself in the corner, where her backpack rests and the cushions she brought yesterday live, as she says. She has spent most of her free time with Juniper, even if I’m not here.
“You need to go home, Riley. She’s fine. Nothing is gonna happen to her.”
“She’s learning to trust me more and more. I’m not going anywhere. Besides, there’s nothing for me to do over there. Willa says I’m overreacting, but I still can’t figure out what to do. She keeps smoothing things over between me and Lilly, and now that she’s here at the camp, it’s easier for her to play her peacekeeper role. Nothing for me to do over there, like I said.” She shrugs. “So drawing it is.”
“What about an art class?”
She shakes her head. “We already have art included. I need a way to bring in extra income to help take the load off Lilly. I don’t want her to have to take out a loan to pay for credit cards and expenses. We need to figure it out, but my brain is mush, and I’m out of ideas. At least here, I feel peace.”
