Ugh, she’s right, it’s not. I don’t know why I’m even bothering her with this. It’s not like she’s coming home or anything too.
Me:
You’re right. I’m sorry. But, like, what else can I do? I’m willing to learn.
I’ve never been afraid to either, but when all you hear your whole life is no, be careful, or you can’t do that, it becomes harder and harder to try something new.
Willa:
Then tell her that. Maybe apologize for showing up unannounced too, yeah?
Me:
yeah, yeah. Love you.
Willa:
love you.
Me:
Oh, I’m the worst. How are you? Did you take your test?
She’s almost ready to be a therapist. She’s just missing the test and maybe a few other things she’s told me about, but I’ve not paid attention to.
Willa:
It’s going. Gotta go tho.
I’ve always wondered if she built her life far away from this ranch because the memories are too painful and she needed space to heal. Either way, I’m proud of her for prioritizing herself.
I throw myself onto the bed with an oomph, but an insistent knock on the door robs me of my time to consider my pacifier middlesister’s words.
I rush down the steps and open the door to find Lilly on the other side.
“Hi!” I shout, both in excitement and surprise.
“Can I come in?” Lilly points to the living room, or what’s left of it. When our parents revamped the camp from a sleep-away camp to a day camp, there were so many cabins available, and they assigned one to each of us. I got to pick last, being the youngest and all, but I loved this one. It’s super far away from everyone and everything. Lilly said I picked perfectly, so I can spend my little hours of sleep doing whatever I wanted to do without disturbing others. Nobody else wants to walk for ten minutes before getting to the main house or the barn.
Joke’s on them.
I love being out here. Nobody comes to this side of the river either, so it’s like having an entire piece of the property for myself.
My own safe haven.
This also means that because I don’t get many visitors, it’s never clean or organized. Add to that that I’ve been gone for a few years? Well, it needs some deep cleaning for sure.
“Um, would you, um, rather go for a walk instead?” I step aside, closing the door behind me, ushering her sideways. She doesn’t need to see the state of that room. Or the whole cabin, for that matter.
“I don’t have a lot of time.”
“That’s fine. It shouldn’t take long, right? You said you needed help, and I’m happy to take a job.”
“A job?” she asks incredulously.
“Yes, a job. I’m sure you’re swamped with things for summer camp, and I’m happy to take things off your plate,” I say, overexplaining myself, as I always do with her.
“What’s the end goal here?” She’s paying no attention towhatI’m saying, she’s just worried about the potential clusterfuck of me, Riley, being back home.
