A sense of relief washes over me at his first words. “Yeah, I know I fucked up. Big time.” He nods in approval of my admission. “If it helps, Sienna and I haven’t spoken since that night. I’m pretty sure she wants nothing to do with me, and I don’t blame her. She deserves better.” I pause before continuing, “And…I’ve listed the Mustang for sale.”
“Mmm.” He looks at me carefully, as though he’s thinking through what to say next. “That’s a shame on both accounts, considering you love that car, and you love Sienna even more.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “Love?Who said anything about love? She hates me. She said everything was a mistake, and practically agreed with everything you had said that night.”
“If you honestly think she hates you, you’re not as smart as I thought you were.”
“Smart, huh?” I adjust my jacket, standing a little taller, trying to change the subject from the one person I’ve been failing to avoid thinking about for weeks now.
“Don’t change the subject.” He points a finger at me, and I swat it away.
Continuing, I offer him a new deal. “Don’t make me your partner. At least, not at first. Think about the proposal and have me shadow one of the project managers. I want to earn my position here, like you did.”
He looks as though he’s contemplating my offer for a moment before speaking. “Okay, you have the job. You can work your way up under my mentorship, and we’ll put your proposal into place once you’re ready. But I’ll only agree to this on two conditions.”
“Anything, what is it?” I’m embarrassed at how eager I am, but I can’t help my excitement at the chance to prove to my brothers I’m not a kid anymore. That I can work just as hard as they have.
“When I was your age, I spent countless nights building this company. To help take care of you and your brothers. I don’t regret a single moment doing that after seeing where you’ve all ended up today.” Roman sighs. “But it didn’t leave much room for personal endeavors. Needless to say, I want you to promise not to make the same mistake I did.”
Roman puts a hand on my shoulder. “If you love Sienna, go after her. You have plenty of time to build a career here, but the right woman only comes around once. If you let her go now, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”
He speaks as though he has experience with this regret, but when I catch the look in his eyes, I decide against asking him about it.
“I don’t think she wants to see me again, even if I do love her.” Shit, do I? “I’m not sure I could get her back.”
“I might have an idea.” Roman throws his arm around my shoulders as he pulls us out of the conference room. “Let’s discuss it over lunch in my office. I have a few questions about this proposal we can discuss as well.”
I nod my agreement, and we head toward the elevator. As we ride the elevator to the top of the building, I realize I’ve only agreed to one of his conditions.
“Hey, what was the second condition?”
“Oh, right. Don’t sell your Mustang,” He pulls on my shoulder, whacking me lightly with the binder. “Dad always did have good taste in cars.”
By the time we reach his office, Roman and I are both laughing. For the first time in weeks, I don’t feel like a complete fuckup.
36
SIENNA
After spending a few more days with my parents, I finally decided to go back home to my own apartment. Talking with them lifted my spirits but also gave me a lot to think about. I didn’t want them to give me any other ideas if I stayed for too long.
The conversation gave me a lot to think about, and I’m not sure which part freaked me out more. The concept that my plan has officially fallen apart, or the much more terrifying concept that I’ve fallen for Theo without realizing it.
I’ve scaled back on job applications for now. Between the money I have saved up and my parents' offer to cover my share of the rent if needed, I’m able to take a much-needed break. This will give me a chance to look for jobs that actually interest me. Not just places I think would hire me.
I hate that my dad was right about burnout, but Iappreciate him being there for me when it happened. I’ve needed a reset, and with this reset, I’m learning to be comfortable with the unknown. This new non-plan might set me back a bit in experience, but finding a job I’m passionate about will be much more rewarding.
I think back to Theo’s words on the hike. He was right, I don’t want to settle. That was the point of my plan from the beginning. Things might be messier without a carefully constructed plan, but I need to do what will actually make me happy.
You were happy with Theo.
I curse my brain for the thought that floats through my mind.
Currently unemployed and scaling back on my job search, I usually spend my days doing nothing, trying to find what brings true happiness in my life. Although after two days of doing nothing, I felt too pent-up. No one said learning to be comfortable with the unknown would be easy. Eventually, I went to Beth for some help.
With her bookstore search, she had plenty to keep her busy, and I asked to tag along. If not to help, then something to take my mind off my unproductive days. Something to take my mind off Theo, who I’m still not sure whether or not I love.
Beth and I have spent the last week searching for the perfect place to open her bookstore. She seems to enjoy having me part of the process, claiming that I have an unmatched eye for design and that I’ll find her the perfect place. I think she’s just happy I have a reason to put on something other than yoga pants.
